I sit here in the woods, waiting to see the sunrise, 6:28am Tuesday the 21st of June. I am doubtful though, because the sun seems shrouded by a thin layer of clouds. It is good to be back in the woods. I often find some relief from business in the garden, but there is something about being in the woods, in the wild, back with nature. Something draws me to it, like it is God’s sanctuary, a safe but wild place to be. Like Aslan, he’s not a tame lion, the woods are not tame, but I find comfort in them, peace and quiet. While I was on my way into the woods I saw a deer, it quickly ran from me, making a barking noise as it ran from me. I presume that it had another friend/s with it and thus the noise, to warn them of me. Aha, I can see the sun peaking through the clouds. It is not as red as I like my sunrise, but all the same it is there. A bright orange gold, brilliantly piercing through the clouds. I can’t look at the sun any more as the clouds can no longer hold back the light.
I have my coffee, brewed strong as usual. I drink it for the taste more than anything else I have realized. I guess that is a good reason for starting a coffee roasting business. Speaking of which, I spent without the cost of beans $655. That includes a digital 11lb scale, burr coffee grinder, roaster, and 10 bags. The scale was around $42, the grinder, $78, roaster $495, and the bags came out to $.70 a piece. On all these I have spent hours to days researching them, reading what other customer had to say. At the last minute I picked this roaster. The main thing keeping me from buying it was the fact it as $200 more than the other one. The other roaster could roast more, but could not roast them as dark. However, I have talked with several people who say they like a dark roast and, I am very glad I made the switch. I should get most of the items this week or next, and within 3 weeks should be roasting and selling. I am looking into roasting at a Farmers Market. When I upgrade to a better roaster I will be able to bring it to the Farmers Market’s and roast on site using propane.
I have been thinking lately, especially since BWSC; Am I ready to got out and be a man? Sure, I can work hard enough, that is not what I am talking about. More, am I ready to lead a family? Answer the question of my child? It got me thinking about it and I have since started reading some books that seem helpful. I want to be ready to answer the questions of a wife and children and so I have started educating myself in the way of somewhat ‘theological’ books among others. To me the question that the world would put to me: "are you ready?" I could answer yes. Yes I can find a job, or have a job, and if that be the case they would say I am a success. But I am not ready in the other ways, at least not yet. I will be trying to do a bit more reading on these subjects in the years following, preparing myself. I found it quite awakening at this last conference, and I am glad that I could go. And so I go humbly and prayerfully to my God and ask wisdom in these spiritual matters, that I might be ready and equipped for what He has for me.