So loved

Imagine yourself in another world, the god of that world creates an earth, with all of it’s creation and puts human kind on the earth. This god walks with the first two humans until one day they disobey him and he withdraws his direct presence from the earth. They multiply and continue to live. How long do you think it would be before the humans believed in someone bigger than them creating the whole world they live in? Frankly it only makes sense to believe in someone bigger than you creating everything. But wouldn’t it be so like us humans to be arrogant, to be proud, to be so conceited of our selves that we would make up anything other than what we know to be the truth? That is so us, to create a myth, to create stories, to cover up the real thing. Deep down we know there is a God, the creator of all this, it only makes sense when we take a look around. This doesn’t happen by chance, there is a God, and he created you and me. And if he created you and me, than he wants a personal and intimate relationship with us. 

John 3:16 reads “For God so loved the word.” We don’t have to go farther than that, but just stop and see, God so loved us. He didn’t have to put that in his word, but he did. God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son. He sent his Son not to condemn this world, but save it. God LOVES you! God sent his Son to die for YOU! Jesus was sent here, not to condemn you, but save you! How great a God we serve!

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My Bro

Things I admire or like about Josiah. (I hope I don’t embarrass him too much, but after a visit I had to write down and put down thoughts I had in my head.)

His ability to compliment or say confirming words, even if he doesn’t quite mean it. His ability to strike up a conversation, which usually starts with some of the casual mundane things which I often don’t like to do. He has an ability to hide most of his feeling about someone he doesn’t like when talking to them, which I admire. 

The energy he brings to the house is always amazing to me. Things like jumping in a starting work on a project or chores, but then slips away. He has a very cool capability to get others to do work for him, and that only comes from jumping in and starting, so you have to be willing to start. And I guess in a sense that is a lot of his personality, starting something new, being willing to jump in. Another way you can feel his energy is the way he carries himself and is in a sense willing to make a mistake. He thumps down the stairs when he comes down and shouts something hilarious, some quote or a question about why we’re not having fun, or enough fun. He is loud, which is something that isn’t natural to me unless I’m around a lot of really close friends or family and we’re playing something, or I’m psyched on coffee. :)  When he is playing a game, especially a competitive game he can be somewhat manipulative. Which makes him very fun to watch and play with. If you can be on his side it’s a blast! He is willing to do a lot for a laugh, and when he does something funny I can’t help but laugh at him. 

Another thing I really like about him is how he in one sense is so uncaring about his looks. He said everyone at Lampeter says he has the worst style ever. But he’s willing for them to think that. He doesn’t work out, but that is just another thing about him. In one sense he has such pride, and in another sense he has the worst style, doesn’t work out, he’s not super buff. He is an amazing dude. He doesn’t like skinny women, he’s the kind of guy real girls will like. They’re not going to like him because he looks really sexy and has forearms the size of my thigh, they’re going to love him because he is willing to be the ‘odd one’ in a room of others. He’s not letting working out or style get in the way of other important things, like God. This makes him so amazing to me, so humbling, and so, unique, you don’t often find this in a guy, and when you’re related to him? Yeah, beast!

I love talking with him, especially at 2am in the morning about theology and other stuff. He has been away and has the ability to form his own ideas and opinions on it. He’s seen both sides. He loves theology, but also is willing to be on fire for Jesus and show some emotion in worship. One of my favourite things was hearing him pray. His spontaneous ability in prayer, his realness, his relationship that he has with God is so moving. He is definitely going to be a good President for the Christian Union this year. I can’t wait to see all the ways God will use him. He is such a cool guy.

I love his choice of music and ability to play what is most often wanted or wished for, even without telling him. He plays emotional music when things are emotional, but will often change it because he’s “about to throw up” and plays something hilarious. He finds the funniest videos on youtube and it’s so fun to watch them with him. 

And to end I’ll quote from an interview about Les Mis, said by Russell Crowe about Hugh Jackman, but one that we’ve quoted to each other and could potentially be applied to Josiah. “He’s like this triple threat, you know? This singin’, actin’, dancin’ dude, you know?”

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Weep?

What is it about crying that makes the human ashamed of it? Is it the fact that you are showing one side of your emotions (laughter is emotion too)? Is it the fact that homo sapiens are the only species that cry tears of emotion?

I believe something is happening when you cry, when you weep. You release part of your emotion into the tears. It is a way of relieving stress, letting go of something inside us. 

After the parting of my cousins and then my brother, whom I will not see for at least a year and a half, it was so hard not to burst into tears every time I thought about it, or listened to a song, or reflected on the awesome time we’d had. I then came home and took an ipod with me into the woods. I wanted a place to be alone and just cried for about half an hour. And it really was like releasing the emotions inside. After that I wasn’t nearly as close to crying every other second, I wasn’t about to fall over and pass out because of the intense pain and holding of breath with the realization of the situation at hand. It was letting it out, instead of holding the sadness of parting inside I let it fall, gave it to God. 

It’s kind of like a journey. After you’ve wept it is like coming out of the valley, and until you cry you are still held in the grasp of intense emotion. It doesn’t usually make me more vulnerable to crying, but less because I’ve let it out. 

And so to end this post I will quote from an amazing book that expresses such deep emotion. 

“I will not say do not weep, for not all tears are an evil.” -Gandalf

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Good byes

Is the sadness worth it? I guess when it hurts, hurts so much you can’t even sleep after running on less than 5 hours of sleep over the past week , it means that you really love someone. When you spend the week talking, singing, dancing, praying, way late into the night, every night, and get up too early for the amount of sleep you got, that is love. But is the pain worth it? When the parting comes, when the time is up, when it’s time to say good bye. Of course it is. The pain, the heart ache, it is not out of sin that it comes, but rather out of the bond of love. The friendship, the laughter, the tears, the bond of love between you. And when it’s time to say good bye, time to separate yourself for a time, it is sadness that we cannot go on in what we are doing. We cannot go on in the fun we are having, in the community that we are experiencing, in the building up of one another in the talking with each other. It’s the fact that we are parted that makes our hearts sad, not a hurt, but a longing for more. 

And it’s depressing to look on and see how long it is before we may see each other again, but you can’t do that. Not only anyway. You have to look back and see the times you had, remember, cherish what you did. How can you enjoy the moment when someone you very much wish is not there, or you are parted from friends? Well it’s hard, very hard. I don’t have the answers to this life. 

There are two things that I see in life that most make me wish for heaven. The one is to see the brokenness, the hurt, the pain of this world, and the other is to experience the love and joy and beauty of this world. That the joy might go on forever, that we could enjoy one another’s company over and over. Talking, laughing, singing, that is heaven, that is what makes me wish for it. To be with Jesus and the saints. To be forever in peace, to be away from this hurt and pain of this world. So I’m wishing for heaven, that the day will come when we will be as one body, in unity, in love and friendship. Getting to spend eternity in a place where no tear of sadness will be shed, when we can talk with friends, laugh over jokes, look at the beauty of it all. 

Until that day what should we do? So often I come out of a ‘family reunion’ and the only thing I want to do is evangelize and love others. To spend the rest of my life in the only thing that seems worth it, sharing what God has given me. The gift of love, Jesus. I don’t know where I would be without my family. It is so amazing to have my extended family brothers and sisters in Christ. That when we get together we feel exactly the same about God, that we can talk about him and that we both will spend eternity together. Build one another up in love, form stronger friendships. I think this has been the best Christmas yet. It was so good to have Josiah home, well worth it, I would’ve paid the full ticket if I had had the cash. The games we played, films we watched and then opening Christmas presents on Christmas day. Josiah adds an energy that is hard to replicate and makes you want to be around him. It was even better when cousins from both sides came and the fun we had. Playing games, Mafia, Dictionary game, one on one conversations with each other, eating, staying up late. The whole week I never went to bed before 12am, most of the time closer to 2am. Then getting up between 7-8:30am every day. It’s no wonder I feel emotional right now, no sleep, tons of coffee, and farewells? Hallelujah!

My New Year’s resolution is to love more in ways both physical and words. After watching Father of Lights it inspired me to love people even more, both Christian brethren and sinners who are lost and are so deep in sin. Count it all joy! So live, love, and wonder!

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