Friday, 30 November 2012


Honesty |ˈänistē|
1 the quality of being honest  

 Honest |ˈänist|
free of deceit and untruthfulness; sincere

Why do we find honesty to be such a hard thing? I find it hard in myself to even think, honestly, not just speak and act honestly. I think we as a culture brushes past honesty and has you put up a wall. Because honestly, when it comes down to it, honesty means vulnerability; and who wants that? Isn’t cool all about being a wall, nothing can come at you that will knock you down, invincible, impervious? But is that honesty? To be honest is to put yourself at risk. It’s to show who you truly are. No cover ups, no make up, no wall to hide behind. To speak and think and act in brutally honest you put yourself at risk. Who knows what someone else will think, you may be laughed at, you may be made fun of, who knows, you could be deeply hurt. Is it worth it? Is it worth it to be completely honest to the point of putting yourself in the line of fire? 

Yes, it’s worth it. Because there is a sense of freedom when you do so. There is a sense of being let free. When you truly are yourself to those around you, then you can be set free. 

I find it hard myself to even think honestly. I am so affected by what those around me say and think that I find myself often thinking in ways that will please them, for lack of a better word. When I process something I find my self jaded by the friends and people around me, as I process I relate it to what is around me, and declare it to be what it is, based on not what it is, but by what I think it is. Sit back for a moment, think back to when you heard something, picked up on something someone said, and then threw it away because, everyone around you already knew that, and it was nothing new to them, so why should it be new to you? You just lost a part of who you are. It’s so easy to get caught up in the game of society, and forget who you really are.

Not only thinking, but speaking. And speaking follows thinking, so if I’m not thinking honestly, how can I speak honestly? How many times have you said something in a situation because it felt right, but wasn’t what you truly thought? Too often I haven’t said what I was thinking, and that’s just as bad as saying what you don’t really think. Sure there are times when you should keep silent, but too many times I’ve not said something when I truly believed I should have.

If you’re not speaking in total honesty, how can you act in total honesty? The way you dress, the way you move, so often influenced by those around us. What if we were truly honest, dressed the way we actually wanted to, acted the way we truly are? I know several people in my life who are brutally honest in their actions as well as words. And I hold them up, because, they are the minority in this world. Many people don’t know how to take brutal honesty in actions and words from others because it’s so different from the norm. So when they do see it, they don’t know what to say or do. I see it as a gift in some people, often they are acting just their personality, and they don’t know any different, so to them, that’s just who they are, but it’s more. It is hard to undo the untrue. 

So the next time you hear something, don’t put it up against what’s around you, take it and put to what you know to be true. Be honest with it. Speak the truth, even when it’s hard. Have a hard time not saying social norms? Make them come from the heart. Mean what you say. Don’t just say something and think nothing of it, but speak from your heart. Don’t over think too much either, too often when you over think about saying something you end up holding back, and that’s not honest either. It’s a tough line to walk, honesty. But if you can think and speak honestly, acting it will come naturally. Because what you think and say become the way you act. So be honest with yourself, be honest with your friends, be honest with God. Think the truth, speak the truth, and act the truth, for the truth will set you free.

English Vintner