Here

So, I'm here. It's been a good week here at the Boardwalk Chapel. This week I learned what it is like to be on staff here. It's been so much fun getting to know the Pilgrim Youth Group that just left this morning. We had fun playing soccer and ultimate frisbee with the first day, and go out evangelizing with them several of the nights. They were such a blessing to have around, doing several songs in the program each night and just having them around.

Life is certainly busy here. I'm still trying to figure out a personal schedule for devotions and quiet time. I've got our room kind of decked out, but I still don't like it. Maybe because it's so much like a dorm room, and I can't really stand dorm rooms. The lighting is not very good, and the air is always so damp. I'm working on a dehumidifier using rock salt and two containers, one to hold the salt and direct water into the other container. The salt draws moisture from the air and deposits it in the water below.

Right now the schedule kind of looks like this: Wake up between 8-10am, eat breakfast, have a time of prayer with everyone, chill out for a little bit. Go to the chapel at 12pm for an hour of skit practice and drama stuff. Come back at 1pm for lunch, head back to the chapel at 2:30pm. Work on music until 4:45pm, come back and eat supper. Head back to the chapel at 6:30pm to run through the program until 8pm when it starts. Run the program until 9:15-30pm when it ends. Listen to JZ give a lecture/sermon on evangilizem. Head out to evangelize at 11pm and come back a little before 12pm. Clean up, grab our stuff and drive back to the Dunn house where we're staying. Talk about our experiences with evangelizing and eat a little bit, maybe pray if we're not too tired. Talk. And head to bed between 12:30am and 1:30am.

So, it's a busy schedule. I haven't really gone anywhere much, and that's bugging me a little bit....I feel too closed in, too tightly sealed. Like a dorm room. I miss the 'homeyness' of a real house, the fact that you can come into a living room and sit on a couch and have conversation around the living room. We don't have that here. We have a front porch, and we have a kitchen table that we eat at.

Life is good though. Getting to know the people on the staff, singing each night, doing skits. I can't believe I'm here at times, than I remember the awesome people I met and think, oh yes! God has a purpose and I'm glad I'm here! I certainly miss some things from home, but that's to be expected when you have a garden, and landscape that you've been putting work into for the last 3 months. I miss the projects I started. But it makes it all worth it when you see the joy on someones face when you present the Gospel and see that person's face light up. God is awesome!




English Vintner

Connect and Relate

I am realizing more the reason behind some of the things I do and I am doing. The drive is, connection and relatability. I want to relate to people. I want to make connections. I want to relate to people. 

For this reason I do listen to rap. I dress the way I do. I listen to the pop music on the radio. I am obsessed with the things I’m obsessed with. I do the things I do. I want to be able to connect. I want to relate. And not just to any body, but especially those who are ‘outcast’ of the circles I’m in. Ones that people would judge in my circles. I want to be able to connect and have something to talk about. I want to have a point to start out. And so I started this life style of going out into the world in a sense. I am getting down into the dirt. I am getting a little dirt on myself for the sake or relationship. For this reason I do these things. 

Like Paul says, I become as one under the law to those under the law. Paul relates to the greeks in ways, but also being a Jew relates to the Jews and calls them brothers. Paul goes to great lengths to connect and relate to people to bring people to Jesus. This was an inspiration to me, and I seek to do this. Jesus ate with the tax collectors and prostitutes, and ate among sinners. We surround ourselves with godly people to be edified, but must go to the ungodly to edify them. We need strength so that we have strength to give to others.

English Vintner

Thoughts from a Coffee Drinker

Like every other morning he reached for the grinder and pushed the  on button, spooning in several tablespoons of beans into the hopper, the grinding sound of the burrs chopping the beans was something he was used to. After a minute he scooped the grounds into a cloth filter and reached for the hot water, carefully pouring the hot liquid over the grounds. The two are married and what happens next is the most magical thing that can happen in any coffee house, the brown liquid we call ‘coffee’ is produced. From these two simple ingredients, coffee, and water. Who would have thought that such a good taste could come from so few ingredients? He takes a sip as usual, the steaming liquid swirling just a little as he brings it to his lips. He tastes it, takes a drink, and swallows. 

But something happened. It started when the coffee was roasted a little too dark. No, it wasn’t charcoal, but Starbucks would have been happy to brew the coffee I’d roasted. Sure, it was coffee, it was fresh, but it was missing what makes good coffee rounded and full. Instead of 3D it was 2D at best. Just two dimensions instead of the three which I was used to in a well roasted coffee. I drank it for several reasons, I’d brewed it and didn’t want to waste it, and I knew that given enough time I would have a headache knocking on my skull asking me why I hadn’t drunk any caffeine earlier. I didn’t enjoy it though, not like I enjoy good coffee. I was also solo drinking it, which never helps anything, as much as I’m not a social drinker (I will not drink at my church ‘cause they use Maxswill) social gatherings, usually involving extended family entices one to drink. So when I do drink it alone it has to be good, I mean really good, like me looking forward to it when I get out of bed, imagining the smell of the coffee as I open my ceramic jar, and then as I grind my beans, and then as I brew them and drink the wonderful beverage. I have to enjoy it. The following morning I had some other beans I’d roasted, which were lighter, but it didn’t taste all that great, everything but the brewed liquid was good. This happened the following day as well and I was beginning to think it was the coffee not me.

So what happened? I don’t know. I do know that I went off it for two days, switching my usual caffeine from coffee to yerba mate. Breaks are essential I think, at some point, even if you drink it everyday, three times a day, at some point you need a break. It’s human to have to take a break and just stop for a little while, even if it’s just a day or two. Next, instead of the electric grinder, this time I used my hand crank grinder, which resulted in a small arm workout, and a little extra time from whole bean to pouring water over the grounds. But it involved more of me and my time, making it mean more to me. Just like when you grow your own food, grind your own wheat, when you are more involved you enjoy it more, or you should. Instead of the typical cloth filters, which are reusable I used a paper filter, which resulted in a cleaner cup. The cloth filters add more body because they hold the coffee for just a little bit longer in contact with the grounds. Thirdly I roasted lighter. Just like if I have a weak cup of coffee it makes me want a strong cup, so having a dark roasted coffee a lot makes me want a lighter roast. 

What have I learned? Learn to take breaks, even if it’s not a break from caffeine, take a break from the same liquid. It helps you appreciate it that much more, like a three day fast from food, the food tastes better. Grind by hand if I have the extra minute on my side. Change up your roasting style, go for acidic every once in a while because that makes you appreciate the better roasts even more. And of course, use a good method for brewing, paper is my preferred method if I’m brewing into a carafe for more than 6 people, but otherwise I often use a filter. But I’ve learned to even change up that, I have about 5 brewing methods to choose from, and varying them helps keep things fresh. 

English Vintner

From ONE7

Here is a blog post written by someone at ONE7 and I thought I would reblog it.

My struggle in my walk with Christ is this; If the Bible is true and Jesus did all that it says he did, my complete devotion is required. Devotion that goes beyond Sundays and Wednesdays. More than the occasional planned outreach or mission trip. More than just trying to be a good person and checking behaviors off the list. More than lip service and the accumulation of Bible knowledge. It requires my complete devotion. My resources, my time, my family, my money, my relationships. All of it goes on the altar before God as an offering. I want my life to look like Isaiah 58:6-9.

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
    and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
    and break every yoke?
⁷ Is it not to share your food with the hungry 
    and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter —
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
    and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
⁸ Then your light will break forth like the dawn, 
    and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness^[a] will go before you,
    and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
⁹ Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
    you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

I want my life to reflect the one who paid it all. And if I lose it all, so what? If it costs me everything in this world I still have the promise that The Glory of the LORD will be my guard. 

Do I know what this kind of life looks like for other people? No. But I do know what it looks like for me and that’s why I’m at One7. Everyday I am presented with a choice to live his word to the fullest extent or to live it to the extent that I am comfortable with. I am stretched and forced to apply the principles and teachings that I have known my whole life. We cannot keep accumulating knowledge of God’s word without application of it. Its like looking at a set of weights and expecting to become huge without actually picking them up. It doesn’t do a darn bit of good to look at them. It also doesn’t do any good to just lift them a couple of times with whatever is comfortable. You have to feel the burn, you have to feel the tremble in your muscles as you push yourself. A deeper relationship with God doesn’t come from knowledge, it comes from application. I want to see my generation lose our entitled attitudes and put all of ourselves on the table. Lose the comfort and chase after God. Push ourselves farther than we think we can go. Do things that others say are crazy. In the words of David Platt, “Let’s risk it all”.

ONE7 UPDATE

Just a quick update on life at One7. It’s coming up on 4 months at the ministry full time as a staff member and the summer has flown by. We have a lot on our plate for this fall though. David and I are coaching at Garinger High School this fall in addition to having our U11, U13, and U17 soccer teams. This is an awesome opportunity to take the Gospel into a dark place and be a light to a lost generation. Lots of tutoring will be going on this fall as well and if you are interested in tutoring please contact me. Follow One7 on facebook if you want more info and a post specifcally about One7 life is coming soon!

PRAYER REQUESTS

• I have to start paying back student loans in November and I’m still looking for people to be members of my support team. If you want information on how to support me please email me at kyle@one7.org. 
• Vehicle- I still don’t have a vehicle of my own and I’m growing weary of driving 15 passenger vans. Nothing says stud like pulling up in a big white van by yourself. Please pray that I would be content with this situtation until God provides.
• Pray for endurance. We work long hours to care for kids in all aspects of their lives. Pray that when my strength fades that Christ’s strength replaces it.
• Pray for the kids. We seem to be having a youth movement coming through One7, a new generation that is still getting to know who Jesus is. Pray that they come to understand his sacrifice and start to desire to live for him.

LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Kyle

Are you willing?

Are you willing to surrender? Are you willing to surrender your will to the will of someone else? Are you willing to lose sleep, put off even good things, for the sake of someone else’s will? Are you willing?

We have to be willing to say, God first. Your will be done. We have to put our wills aside. First follow Him and he will set your paths known. Strive first for Jesus and everything else will fall into place. I’m not saying it will be easy all the way, He made lead you through times of trial, loss of friends or loved ones, but if you follow Him first, then He will bless you. He will make His way known to you.

You won’t change on your own, and you can’t change by changing your surroundings. Your heart has to change. If there is not a change of heart than it will all become like before, your second marriage starts to look more like the first, your church that you are now attending is becoming like the old one you left. No, you need a change of heart, if your heart is changed, than you will changed. We can’t change ourselves by changing our surroundings, the landscape around us. So don’t bother getting a new marriage, don’t try a new job, don’t find a new church until your heart is in the right place. We need first a change of heart.

So be willing to lose sleep and work. Be willing to sacrifice your evening to minister to the kids down the street. Be willing to do what God wants you to do. Follow Him first, seek first the Kingdom of Heaven, and God will take care of the rest. 

English Vintner

ONE7, my friend Annette

I arrived to ONE7 shortly after 5pm. Traffic had been heavy, but I was in no hurry and didn’t have a deadline, so I was cool with that. I had my music turned up and fresh air coming through the windows, I was pumped for my opportunity that night to be with the kids. I arrived and pulled into the parking lot, taking care not to drive into the 1ft deep pot holes riveting the far left side of the parking lot. But that’s what I like about it, it’s not about the outside, it’s about what is happening on the inside. It’s not about how we look, it’s about where our hearts are at. Maybe at some point they’ll get money to fix the parking lot, but for now they’re more concerned about living in among the poor and homeless, becoming one of them for the sake of the gospel. 

I walked in, recognizing several faces and said “Hi!”. I was pumped to be here, a place of love, that makes it hard not to be in a constant state of smiling. To watch these kids play. Not only because they’re so good, but because they’re different than other kids on the street playing. They are living for something greater than themselves. You talk to just about any of the kids they can tell you a situation they were in when it was turning into a fight, but they remember that they are living for Jesus Christ, and He doesn’t get into fights. So they resigned to let the other person have their way. They resign to submission, because they seek to glorify God. Not to say they don’t have little disputes about soccer or octa ball, but they have a sense of who they’re living for, and you can see it in their lives. It makes me smile just thinking about it.

I can’t even remember how we first met, but a little girl with a white t-shirt and tan capris came up to me and asked if I wanted to do something. The beginning of a friendship is always blurred, at some point you realize you’re friends, but you can’t pin point a beginning. She sat next to me on the wall as we waited to play soccer. We talked a little bit, I asked her what her name was, she said “I don’t have a name.” I said my name was Zach. After that she told me her name was “Annette”. I wasn’t sure at that point whether that was her real name, of if she didn’t have a real name, considering the state of some of these kids I wasn’t making an assumption. Later I found out that’s what everyone calls her, so it’s not just a name she picked up for the conversation. 

After playing soccer we talked about being hot and thirsty and she went to go get a drink. When she came back she had two cups, one for her and one for me. After that we did everything together. We circled up and welcomed the new people (this was my second time, so I was already part of the family). I met a few new people, every time I go I introduce myself to a couple dozen people, I’m not super good with names, but it’s fun to get to know these kids. 

Annette and I teamed up for a soccer tournament of four pairs of two kids each. We played soccer which was fun, but Annete is only 9 and I’m not a superstar myself. Most games we went out at 2:0 but occasionally Annete would score a point. It was just a game to me, not something to get upset over, I wasn’t here for the game, I was here for the kids, I was here for Annette. 

We split up for small groups and I helped lead one of the younger groups, ages from 5-9 years old. It was amazing to hear how much the kids know at such a young age, hear them talk about the work Jesus is doing in them. Most of their personal lives are not great, they go to school and then come to ONE7, but go home at night. Most homes are either broken or not in good situations. These kids need Jesus to help them through life.

After small group it was getting close to 9pm and it was about time to go home. I said good bye to a few kids and then searched for Annette. I gave her a hug good bye and left, hoping to see her again on Thursday. 

I made a friend that night, God was doing things in my life. I was ministering to these kids, and they were ministering to me. I love ministry, so much. I want my life to be centered around ministry to people, whether it’s in a foreign country, or here in the US. 

English Vintner

Feminism...my thoughts?

I look around me and I see how the world treats women. I even look around and see how many ‘Christian’ men treat women. Maybe it’s not in the way they act but the way they talk about them. Maybe it’s just a joke, but maybe there is more truth to it than there seems to be. I don’t know. What I do know is that I hold in my mind a respect for women that some people would probably think goes too far. When I think of women they are equal and I will treat them with that respect. I do not join in on jokes about women, or talk about them even behind their backs about them. I might confess to their mysteriousness, but I will not degrade them. I probably tend to be a little bit of a feminist myself in my view on this. I have a tendency to be somewhat rebellious, and this is one way that it shows up. I hold a view of women at least as equals, if not superior to men, and I look around and see the disgusting guys around me in this world. I see how needy we are for real men. I think about how hard it can be to be a true Christian guy in this world, and try to fathom how many real men are really out there. I may be put down by the other gender, but I will always hold them in high esteem. I will always give them their due respect and privilege. I refuse to joke about them with other guys and I refuse to lower my respect of them. I see how Jesus treats women, and I seek to do the same.

English Vintner

Who am I?

This is unedited...what I felt and wrote in a moment, without further looking over it, I apologize ahead of time, it's just me, you know?

They said don’t do that, don’t be him, be yourself, be who you are. What if I don’t like who I am? What if who I am is just a scared little boy clinging to some idea of what manliness is someday, and hoping that it comes my way, sooner rather than later? What if what I want for myself is what I see in someone else?

Be myself? What is myself? I’m not who I was four years ago, I’m way more out going, I talk in my small group, I don’t sit there in silence. So who am I? Am I who I was, am I who I am, or am I who I want to be but I am not? I think I am all of those. I’m not letting who I was define who I am today. Change can happen, but when change comes, what does it look like? 

So how does one change? Does one look around and see a role model and become like him? Does one see the outgoingness and the pursuit of many relationships and try to become like that? Does change see the traits in someone else and take them on themselves? 

Who I am is someone who tends to be quiet outside of family and close friends. I don’t generally speak how I really feel around others. It often takes a while to get to know people. Who do I want to be? I want to be the guy who shows up and gets to know everyone and shows love to all those he comes in contact with. The guy who has a smile on his face and a hug to give to everyone, ready to show love to all those he meets. Someone who easily starts up a conversation and spreads himself thin over relationships with people. I want to show up in a new setting and be the most outgoing one there, meeting new people, inviting people to his house, hosting parties, laughing loudly. . . 

So how does one get there? I pray for courage, 20 seconds of insane courage, courage for the moments, and lots of practice. I find myself being able to be more of my funny loud side not only with family, but carrying that into my other life outside. I am finding that I can change, it just takes time. Are all shy people like me, wishing their whole lives to be more than who they are? Wishing to be that guy who starts up a conversation like nobody’s business, gives hugs to everyone he comes in contact with, that guy who comes in and owns the place in a sense. . . 

So be myself? I’m not satisfied with being myself, I don’t see that as wholly biblical for me actually, how can I be ministering and helping others when I’m to quiet and not outgoing to meet others? I’m not judging anyone here but myself. This is for me, I feel like I am naturally quiet, shy, not exactly introverted....I want to be someone who is outgoing, loving to all those around, and ready to spend themselves on others, giving away stuff all the time...I want to be more than I am...I think it will be a journey, but I believe that God will do this...for we serve a God who like a Father, how can he refuse a child who keeps asking and praying? 

English Vintner

Theater Reflections

This is an unedited version of my reflections, read the raw untamed words of the past 12 weeks of theater, doing Little Women. 

Why, why? Why must we go on? Why can the best moments in life continue on? Why do they fly by so fleetingly; so fast? When will I see them again, when will I have the connection I had with them? Why must we go on? 

I came in late and had to learn fast, but those past 12 weeks have been so bonding. The love and support I had from everyone was incredible. The confidence the directors had in me was incredible. Truly a gift from God to have this opportunity, and God has used it for the good. I have been changed through this theater production. And now it’s over. So I sit here, crying silent tears, overwhelmed by it all. The realization strikes...this is it...it’s really over....why does love hurt like this? Why so much? How can I go on? I want to do this again...I want to love on each and everyone of my cast members. To hug them, to show them again and again how much they meant to me. But it’s over. I want to rehearse again and again..I want to sing my songs, say my lines. I miss being back stage, watching my fellow actors perform, hearing the guys pray in the dressing room, frantically changing clothes in front of people I hardly know. Why?

I didn’t think I could learn as much as I did. I have learned to sing how you are supposed to sing, using your stomach, how to breathe correctly. I’ve learned how to act even more, how to take criticism and change the ways I needed to change. What a correlation between our own lives and the lives of one we are portraying on stage. We can take criticism when we’re on stage, but when it comes to our own lives it is so much harder. I believe being an actor can help bridge the gap. 

I just want things to continue the way they are. I want to do this again and again. I want to hear the audience laugh, feel the emotion pulse through my veins. Laugh and cry with my fellow thespians. 

I am so impressed by this cast. When we took time to pray, the ones who prayed, showing leadership. I was so impressed with all the guys who took time before each performance to pray together, what an inspiration to see us all huddled in a group, clamoring to be the next one pray, because we love Jesus so much. Even the most ‘immature’ among us showed me the side to them that loves Jesus. How thankful I am.

My directors, how can I thank you enough? The way you supported me, each rehearsal, coaching me, having faith in me. The time and money you gave to me/us is inspiring. Self sacrificing is the most inspiring thing I have ever seen, and when I see you giving  yourself to me it means so much. You spend an enormous amount of time and energy into making us  look good, sound good. How amazing a thing it is, how humbling. You believed in me all the way, and gave me the courage to do what I did, the encouragement to work hard and make it happen. How can I thank you enough?

I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve this love, this opportunity to be with you all, to learn what I’ve learned. I took someone else’s place, this should’ve been someone else. But no, God had it that I would have this place. Undeserving. I don’t deserve the friendships I’ve made, I don’t deserve the hugs I’ve exchanged, the laughs we’ve had...I don’t deserve this, and yet you, Jesus have given it to me. What a picture of grace. What Jesus has done for my life...to look at me and see something beautiful, to look past the sin and just love me. 

The amount of love I have for my cast members I cannot even express. If it’s one thing I’ve learned is that you cannot receive or give too many hugs. Forget handshakes, go for the real thing. 

I will not forget this. To come in more than half way through a musical and get the lead guy part. I will not forget what I have learned about singing. I will not forget the directors who have given me everything. I will not forget the friendships I’ve made, the bonds we have. I will not forget the hugs we’ve given. I will not forget this. I will cherish it. I thank each and everyone of you who made this unforgettable. Who made this happen, work. Acting means so much to me, and I’ve never gotten as close to a cast as I did in this one. So thank you, thank you, thank you. I dedicate my performance to my amazing sister Londa who gave so much and got so little. To God be the glory.

English Vintner

Behind the Curtains

This is a poem, dedicated and about my amazing sister Londa. A better actor would be hard to find, someone who's love for theater is greater than most. Dedication to an amazing production, willingness, hard work...wow, you. are. amazing. How can I say thank you? How can I possibly know exactly what you're feeling? This is but a slight attempt for me to enter into your heart, feel the ache you must feel. I love you so much.

Back behind the curtains

so uncertain of the outcome

Grasping for a moment 

just to be out on the stage

It’s not about the people

it’s the magic it contains

When you put your foot

down firmly, and

walk across the stage

It’s the feeling you get

seconds before, 

you make your first 

stage move

Oh the intensity

oh the immensity 

That natural love of acting

To work so long,

to work so hard,

and see someone take your place

To lose what means the world,

when lost in the emotion,

Your head all in a swirl,

how can you even stand?

Only with these words still 

ringing:

“The best is yet to come”

English Vintner