The dirty life

I sit here, without internet, watching Jether cook. The smell of whole grain soaked sourdough toast mixing with pasture raised pork sausage and roasting butternut squash. Outside is lightning and a light rain. Today was a pretty good day. Harvested and packaged and got everything ready for CSA all by myself, with Jether to help pick jazz. I am competent enough I guess to be able to handle the CSA, which is a good thing I guess. It’s nice to know people are confident in you. (Jether just tossed me a shriveled somewhat rotten garlic...I’m not sure what to do with it.) After harvesting and packaging and picking enough for 10 CSA shares and market to sell (11 different items in the CSA share!). “Right on!” has been the phrase to say over the past couple days, I picked it up from someone I met at Saturday market, and the history of it all I’ll have to tell later, it’s quite funny. 

For lunch we had eggs (now that the chickens are off strike we’re eating about half a dozen a day each!), toast a little milk kefir (the goats milk is so good!) and green beans, with an appetizer of cucumbers and hummus. I’m finally getting the milk from the bad goat, Pretty Face. For the past 5 weeks I’ve milked her and only been able to milk her about half way and never been able to save what I got, always onto the milk stand. But with the help of Jether who can keep an eye on the feed I’ve been able to not only fully milk her, but to get almost all the milk. Which means a pint from each goat right now, so half a gallon a day, not bad. We are just keeping up with demand between me and Jether mostly, and making milk kefir. It’s a good thing I’m getting all of Pretty Face’s because we’d be out of milk if not.

Ahh...the farm life. Getting up before 6am, doing chores until 7am. Making them fun by jumping fences and cooking outside by a campfire at night. To the left of me is 6 dozen eggs, almost one days worth of eggs, now that the chickens are producing again. On the counter beside me is milk kefir, made with goats milk, also from the farm. About the only thing we don’t have here is grain, oil, spices, and sugar. You can get all the vegetables from here, meat, eggs, milk, it’s all here. You could live off of what was here and be living well. My diet has definitely had less carbs since I came to the farm, I don’t like to spend any more than I have to and you can get by with eating what’s here. The work is physical and non stressful. You’re working with people, but they’re people you know and enjoy being around. You’re constantly around animals and plants, watching the animals eat the plants, and vegetables go from seed to harvest. It’s not always fun work, but at the end of the day it’s satisfying to look back and see what you finished. There is always something to be done on a farm, you just have to be able to prioritize it and get done what is most urgent. Unless you have lots of help and a very small farm I’m not sure you’re ever fully on top of things while vegetables are growing. My muscles are sore from work and working out when I get the chance (I can now do sets of pushups in the lower 20s). My arms are more tan than they’ve ever been. But it is enjoyable. Liveable. 

I definitely miss home, but I’m going to miss being here as well. I’ve learned a lot, seen a lot and experienced a lot. I’ve seen a chicken lay an egg, how much fresher can you get? I’ve drunk milk from the source. Experienced the shock of an electric fence. Been knocked over by a cow. Mobbed by chickens scrambling for food. It’s a dirty life for sure, but it is good and I like it. I’m often drawing on my experience from working at the Stone Table to cook what I have here. 

Well, supper looks about ready. It’s a quarter till 9pm. Supper here is usually later, since chores end around 7pm and then you have to cook up something. Tomorrow will mark just over one week and I will be home. I have many ideas and plans for when I get home, I’m hoping to incorporate some of the stuff I’ve learned here and put it into my garden when I get back. I’m really considering doing a winter CSA this year for a few members to get some cash, and maybe a Spring one too if that works out. I’m feeling a little bit nervous about decisions coming up but I’ll rest in my Father who knows what is best and has already planned out my path. 

English Vintner

Farm Life

What is the feeling rushing through you when you reach out to test an electric fence? Knowing that in the next second you may or may not feel a volt surge through your body leaving a burning feeling on your finger and almost knock you off your feet. Or for that matter, running straight into an electric fence, cow strength, and not getting shocked because it happened so fast!

But this is farm life. Getting up before the sun to do chores, collecting eggs, feeding chickens, having contests jumping electric fences, and milking goats. All the while trying to stay warm in 40 degree weather.

The food is good. Fresh vegetables, greens, roots, eggs, milk, and meat all from one place, who knew? Every meal is a farm to table meal. To see what is around and extra and come up with a dish to make of it. Sometimes I’m running low on ideas, but when one works out really well I’m inspired to keep trying.

Today marks 11 days until I will drive home. I’m enjoying my time here, but I am ready to get home to my own garden and to all my experiments and hobbys and projects I have going on. 

English Vintner

Autumn Morning

What a glorious Sunday morning. The ones you wish were every week. After a week of physical labor what a glorious day to rest and worship God. A day set apart for Him. To look on our week of work and see that it is good, and to rest 1 out of 7 because our Father did the same when he created all this beauty. 

It wasn’t too chilly last night, a low 50Fº, but we spent the night at Joel and Megan’s house and even with windows open it doesn’t get too cold. 

I picked Jether up Thursday night around 9pm. He called me to say they were about 30 minutes away just as I had finished washing all the dishes and was about to sit down and get a bite to eat. I hurriedly shoved the food down grabbed my wallet and some goats milk and rushed out the door. I drove to the spot, just off 495 and I hadn't been there 30 seconds when they showed up. Uncle Paul said they had made very good timing and had been within minutes of each other when Aunt Jenny dropped Jether off in Knoxville. We threw his stuff in the back of my truck and headed back to the farm. We drunk the goats milk and talked a little bit about the day ahead. It seemed almost unreal to have my best friend coming up and working with me. I had envisioned this last year when I was thinking about interning, it would be so cool if we could both intern together, but I didn' think the chance very likely. And yet, here a year later we're doing it, God surely does love his children and blesses them beyond what we need or think we need.

We arranged the room in the barn a little nicer, certainly a little cozier and tidier. We pushed two beds together and shared the blankets (it gets quite cold when there is no insulation between you and 45-50Fº) between us. We set the alarm for 6:30am but didn't get up till quarter till. I didn't have chores on Friday so we had that luxury. We ate breakfast inside before heading out to work around 8am. We got a bit of work done, a lot of cutting out weeds and such. We broke at 12 and made lunch, found some leftovers and other jazz. We talked and did some email and reading until around 3pm. We did some more work until around 6pm. Then we gathered firewood and got some food for a stew. We cooked chicken and added carrots, radishes, beets, kale, and sweet potatoes, all from the farm. About the only thing you need to buy here is flour and oil, all vegetables and meat and milk and eggs are all here, even fruit. There was a birthday party going on in the barn and they had a fire near us to cook their hotdogs and s'mores. They offered us hotdogs which, we eventually took, but fed to the dogs, I gave one a lick and decided I didn't want it. We watched the stars and enjoyed a fire, though smokey at times till around 10pm. 

We woke up at 6:30am. I was going to make muffins for market but decided against it, I wasn't sure whose ingredients to use and I had enough to do already with Joel and Megan gone. I will say the day would've been a lot harder without Jether. We warmed up our stew over a fire and started picking vegetables around 8am. Jether picked cherry and big tomatoes and I picked basil, eggplant, summer squash, carrots and some parsley. Cherry tomatoes take the longest to pick and so Jether picked the whole time I did. We packaged it all up, some for selling and most for CSA.

Market was pretty good as far as sales went, and it was kind of nice to just hang out and relax, not having to do much. Lunch was good, sausages grilled with onions. Around 2:30pm I checked email and then we went to work again. We carried two fridges up into the barn and hauled sweet potatoes up to my room where they were and layered them in with straw. We took care of all the sweet potatoes, putting the big ones in the fridges and smaller ones in the greenhouse. They've cured and now just need to be stored. We worked till 6pm. When we got some food together and headed over to Joel and Megan's house. We stopped at the end of the driveway to get the pig that had run down into the road, we helped get her back into her pen (it's not a typical day at the farm unless a pig gets out. You leave a door unlocked for 15 min and she'll check it every 5 or so and get out! they're so smart! I think 5 out of 7 days a pig gets out!)

We got to Joel and Megan's house and with the little bit of light outside left Jether used a weedeater to mow the grass in the yard. I worked on supper. I cut up tomatoes and started roasting them in the oven in the oven for soup. I sautèed onions, garlic and basil on the stove top. Jether came in and started mixing up the bread starter he'd brought and soaking flour for pancakes for breakfast. I made a mess of the kitchen (it's small and not too efficient with space) with blending tomatoes up and cooking this and that, but by 8:45 we had something that was quite good and tasty, Roasted Tomato and Basil Soup. Jether took a shower and rinsed the dishes and I washed them, wiped off counters, swept the floor, organized and cleaned up all around the kitchen. I find that once I start washing dishes cleaning up the rest of the kitchen is easy, I'd say washing dishes is the start and beginning of cleaning a kitchen. I also like being clean and organized, especially in the kitchen and I find it very calming and relaxing to come down to a clean kitchen. By 10pm we had the place looking good and dandy. We headed upstairs and I went to bed and Jether read his fireman book for an hour. 

We got up at 5:50am. I took a shower by candlelight (no lights other than candles!) which was cool and then went downstairs. Jether was mixing up pancakes and the world was still asleep. I really love early mornings. I brewed a big mug of coffee and we started eating breakfast which was pancakes and sausage. They were delicious. I went outside for a few minutes to enjoy the morning. The sun was just starting to hit the trees, the air had a chill to it, and I had a mug of steaming coffee. I thought about how much I loved this time of day. Most people still in bed, and yet here I am reveling in God's glorious nature. We finished cooking pancakes (we made a lot!) and then headed to the farm. Jether was going to skype or call to meet with his mission trip team that will go to Honduras in November. We got to the farm around 7:30am and he skyped for a while and then used a phone, and now is charging my cell phone while on his and switching them out since they both ran out of battery. We will head over to church at 10 and then read and relax the rest of the day.

English Vintner

Autumn

The change in the weather is for the better. Summer, though not as dry as last year (where I've been) has ended and Autumn has begun. To me Autumn doesn't begin on a set day by a calendar, but rather when the earth has said it. Listen to her, what does she say, will it be late or early? This year, it was a little early, though, I'm not complaining. Frankly, it came just in time. After a short visit to my family packed full of adventures (I spent Friday night, through Monday morning there and only received 17 hours of sleep total!) which included a fun movie Friday night, apple picking Saturday afternoon, cider making Saturday night, along with a midnight haul, followed by a bright crisp first day of Autumn. We had fresh cider and orange juice for breakfast with apple and pumpkin pie. Rockland's Farm sausage (where I intern), eggs, and hot coffee! It was a feast and a glorious one too! The table was laden, candles were lit, we had 6 people to a side, and the table was stuffed full of me and my siblings. I love being part of a large family. Sunday was awesome, two good sermons, got to say hi to friends, and had a great lunch of swiss cheese, good bread, apples, and chicken, again, with lit candles. I took a nap because of the lateness of the hour that we went to bed at. I left soon after church as I wanted this weekend to be with my family, not friends. Too often you come back from something and just spend most of your time talking and hanging out with friends and you miss your chance with your family. We had leftover pie and hot mulled cider, followed by a game of mafia. It was a highlight for me as it involved all of the kids. Afterwards I got a chance to play legos with my two youngest brothers, which was fun, I love getting down on there level and playing with them. I watched Princess Bride sunday night and got to bed close to midnight, and was up with my oldest brother who works landscape. I packed, said good byes to him and my mother and headed back to the farm.

Somehow, when you can see the end of the tunnel, it's not so bad anymore. You can appreciate where you are and though you're counting the seconds till you're out, you can still enjoy the moment because you know the end is near. That is me right now. I'm content to be here. I'd rather be home yes, my younger siblings are making cider and doing stuff I would be doing. It is amazing to me how much they can do! They really are quite capable! I have three and a half weeks left here. Work is easier as the summer comes to an end. Mostly were harvesting end of the season stuff, clearing out old plants, planting Fall crops, and enjoying the Autumn weather. Since I got back I've been on a camp fire kick and cooked supper over a fire last night. It was good, cheese, bread, apple, pork chop, and some Tulsi tea to wash it down. This morning I got up at 5:30am (it was hard, because it was SO cold! 49F in the barn where I sleep) and started another fire in the same place. I put rocks around the fire and made a nice little fire pit with a grill over it to cook or grill on. I got a nice little fire going while watching the stars. The stars fascinate me, as does astronomy. I'm not talking about astronomy taught now, about the planets and size and what gas, I'm talking about knowing the constellations, telling time by the stars, the passing of the seasons, eclipse and phases of the moon. The stuff people knew and did back then. At 5:30 you really can see the stars quite well! It's still quite dark and the stars are brilliant, makes you want to be up at 5:30 everyday! What a great way to start the day, seeing the stars and seeing them fade away into the early mist as dawn approaches and the sun makes it's way across the horizon. I always get more done when I'm up early. Actually, I think I may be getting too much sleep lately. I've been getting closer to 8-9 hours of sleep while I was at the farm the past couple weeks. I seriously think I do better on 6-7 hours of sleep. It might be harder to get up, but once I'm up I often have more energy and get more done.

Autumn is a wonderful season. Every year I have such trouble on picking a favorite, at the beginning of each season I think it is my favorite, but by the end I'm usually glad to go to the next. I love summer, and I try to appreciate it as much as my older brother and others do, but Autumn always makes me so happy. I love the green and growing of summer, but I love all the feasts and partys to throw in the Autumn. The cider pressing and apple picking, driving through the mountains, the colors of the trees. I'm already planning camping trips when I get back, Autumn is my favourite season to go camping in. The night time is just cold enough to need a fire, and the day is warm enough to go around in jeans and be comfortable.

Here's to a new season,
the season past was more than a blast,
But with the falling leaves, the changing of the trees
Autumn's here and so here I go, don't hang on, just let go



English Vintner

Sometimes I wish I’d never taken this job. “I wish none of this had happened.” “So do all who come to see such times as this. But that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given you.” This conversation between Frodo and Gandalf comes to mind when I think about it. And it’s so true. But I still somehow wish I’d taken the other path. Instead of I sacrificed family for what? For learning, for ‘growing up’? Is it, was it worth it? Maybe. It has to happen sometimes people say, so it may as well of happened now. But what’s the use in thinking back on it. I can’t change the past...and yet sometimes, it hurts me to think of what I could’ve done. Spending the rest of the summer with my family, instead of here, working on a farm. I can’t change it now. But that’s life isn’t it? Full of doubts as to what you should do, and once you’ve decided, you can’t help but remenese about the choice you made.

Is growing up really worth it? What is growing up? Is it going away from your family and causing the pain of sorrow in missing eachother? Is that what it is? Or is it different for everyone? Could it be just in the maturing of one’s soul, while staying around family? Surely, for many a person has done this. It doesn’t have to cause pain, does it? And yet, so often. Like the Breaking of the Fellowship. Things will split us into different paths, different ways. We cannot always remain as one. The only thought that encourages us it that this is all for a purpose, and that in the end, it will be beautiful and even better. But it’s hard right now, isn’t it? To see through the blinding tears of sadness, a better place, a better home. Where all things are right and whole. Where no more tears or weeping will occur, where the God of all will dwell among us, listen to us, talk with us, laugh with us, be our All in All. Yes, there comes a day, much better than we can imagine. A day when all will be reunited in a new heavens and a new earth, and that is the hope. The hope that gets us through a hard day, through a hard trial. When everything around you seems to be chaos we can think of that day and remember, there is one who paid the price, that instead of eternal hell, we will live in eternal glory. And so I close with another quote.

“It is a far far better thing I do, then I have ever done. And it is a far far better rest I go to then I have ever known.”  

English Vintner

Why me?

Does it ever hit you? Just how amazing our God is? Does it make you want to cry, cry for joy, cry for wonderment, that our God, one who created Heaven and Earth would come down, die for us, and want a personal relationship with us. That, while thousands around us are dying and going to Hell, He chose us. Why? Why would some of us taste the everlasting life, to see Him reign the earth, to see His glory? Why would a God send people to Hell? Am I to make the judgement between right and wrong, when I am one human being out of billions, in a universe bigger than I can imagine, controlled by a God who spoke this all into existence? Why should I make the call between what is good and what is bad? I have no say in this matter of morality. This is God we’re talking about, he created each of us, individual and he created us to serve him, to love him. And if we don’t? We will live eternity without him. To my mind that seems wrong, that my fellow neighbor will not believe, and so he will go to Hell. While God, having out of his mercy chose me to trust Him, that I might live with him in glory. God, why?! How can this be? Tears come to my eyes as I fathom a God who would pick me. One who would hold me close to him. Comfort me, love me, give me gifts, bless me, while I, a sinner, continue to hurt him every time I disobey him. Why, Lord? Why me? Your love for me is unconditional. I can always come back to you, and you are waiting for me. You know my limits, my failings, and yet you help me all the way. His love is amazing, and his love is for me. I’ll except Him as my God, as my savior who set me free.

English Vintner

Music

What is it about music that makes the problem you’re in smaller. Listening to it soothing comforting music can get you through a tough situation, or can let your emotions go. It’s freeing to listen to it. Is it drawing your emotions? Is that bad? Can I feel a closer connection to Christ when listening to certain types? Yes. Is it more than a feeling? Yes. It makes me draw closer making my relationship stronger in him. I can talk, pray, sing, cry, and He will hear me. There is something mystical about music, it can reach to the heart, the soul, go deep, penetrating.

I can often hear the music and can feel the tension drop, my cares are cast off and I can do it. Modern technology allows me to do frustrating jobs with music at hand, which is wonderful. I can undertake a job I wouldn’t have motivation to do and be able to do it because I can focus on something else, feel the music pulse through my veins, giving me the energy I need.

English Vintner

Camping

Camping is soul food for the introvert like me. Someone who loves being outside and with nature, who adores God’s creation and doesn’t care if he’s not in a tent or the only toilet is an eight minute walk away. The tall dark trees surround you, the ever present flowing of the water, the singing birds, the rays of sunlight piercing through the roof of evergreens. Cooking over a fire with every meal. Your favorite people camping with you, what could be better? 

You spend the day gathering fire wood, cooking the next meal, making up games, running through the woods, swinging on ropes, and jumping into water. The days are spent laughing with friends, talking about everything, just enjoying God’s nature and the people around you. The nights are fun, the temperature drops some, we sing songs of worship to God while playing the guitar and drumming on anything that makes noise. Going to bed under the stars, watching meteors fly by. Getting up with the other morning people, just the three of you, to build up the fire enough to have a cup of joe. Enjoying the early morning, the light growing stronger, the people trickle in. But you were there, you were there when everyone went to bed, and were up before everyone. You were there listening to nature.

Many times I’ve thought about nature. How wild it is, and yet so uniform. So uniformly chaotic some might say. And yet here it is, the wilderness, not made by man, but out of chance, by God. I call it God’s last piece of Eden. No, it’s not the Garden of Eden. The Garden of Eden wasn’t full of sin, in our world today our whole ecology is based on the Fall. But it’s God’s handy work, and I can often hear him most when I’m alone surrounded by the wild. Sure man can do great things, new inventions, sky scrapers and the like, but in the end what is more amazing, the attempts of man to create things, or God’s nature? I know I would rather see pictures of Nature than anything man has created. Man wants to be in control, we seek to overtake nature in our attempts to recreate it. There is a place for farms and gardens, the natural breeding of plants, but in the end, if I had no wilderness to go go, I’d find my life much more depressing. Camping is soul food, and without it, I’d find coming back to my this busy life much harder. It puts things in perspective I think.

English Vintner

Home

The energy surging through every vein,
The freedom I feel, the smell is the same
To sleep in my bed and rise before dawn,
drinking my coffee to brush off the yawn
Thinking of quotes, I seem to lack,
The one I remember is "Well, I'm back."

English Vintner

Wishing For Heaven?

Why is leaving always so hard to do? We long for us to stay together, not having to leave. But leaving is inevitable in this world here on earth. You will always leave someone or something behind, at least for a while. We make and break relationships with people all the time, but it is the lasting ones that are the hardest to part. The better we know someone the harder it is to leave. The more we love someone the harder it is to say good bye. We long for a lasting time together, when we will not be separated. What we long for is heaven. A lot of people have misconceptions of what heaven is and think this life is good and a better one, and don’t really long for heaven. I think we have to be careful what we say about heaven and the new earth, but I think it is clear that it will involve fellowshipping with one another with Jesus. Singing, laughing, talking, working, praising, being around eachother, and most importantly being with Jesus and learning more about Him. Spending an eternity getting to know God better, and still finding that after a hundred years He will still surprise us with something new, we will never grow bored, never tire of being around him, we will always want more of Him. 

And so the week of vacation is over. I knew before vacation started that we would come to this. That it would be over much too fast. But I knew that we live in the moment, we are changed by the past, and look forward to the future. I had to keep myself from thinking of this day, when good byes are exchanged and we come back. You have to live the moment, enjoy everything as it happens, and not look too far ahead.

A wonderful week. Fun times with cousins, meeting new relatives and hanging out. Playing Capture the Flag, jamming on the flute with the piano, playing Mafia, Imagineiff, and many more games. Getting up early to see the sunrise and have a cup of joe. Drinking tea all day long. Talking late into the night. Singing hymns around the campfire. 

Here we are on our way home. I go back to work tomorrow to work on the farm. Sometimes the only thing that gets us through something is the thought of going back to where we came from. I don’t feel like going back to work to be honest. At this point I’m looking forward to our camping trip, the second week of August. Sometimes the best thought you can think of is being around your family with cousins and friends. The best times in life often come through those you are closest with. I know working at the farm is good, great experience, physically taxing, and some free time to read and research about different things. But sometimes I’d rather I could just hang out with my family, playing games. 

Maybe I’m just wishing for heaven?

English Vintner