Learning, and being Real

I’ve learned so much in the past year. We never anticipate how much we’ll grow or how much change will happen, but it’s inevitable.

Slowing down, taking the time for reflection. Making time to sit and think. Taking time to plan. All great leaders plan, because part of being intentional is planning.

Reflecting, taking time to sit and write, thinking about what is happening. Being analytical is not natural, it’s something I’ve worked hard to get better at. Putting words to feelings—and being okay with emotions both bad and good. Really seeking to process what’s going on around.

Making alone time a priority. It’s so easy to get caught up in everything and not take the time to be alone and undistracted. For personal and God time. I had to learn that, I’m still having to learn that. When we’re empty we have nothing to offer. Take time to soak it in, read, write, think and have time to be alone so that when we’re with others we can bring something of ourselves into the conversation.

Talk big. Learning to ask real questions and really listening. 

Relationships—realizing that everything comes down to this in almost everything we do, God, family business, friends, it’s all about the relationship. How we’re connecting with people, being in a relationship with those around us. Without relationships our lives are very meaningless. We need God we need those around us to connect with and unite us. In a world of social media it’s hard to be intentional with that, which makes it all the more important.

Hard work is good, but not letting that be an idol or rule us is something I’ve had to learn. Learning again and again to place my identity in Christ rather than man or the things around me.

Finding value, in people around me, books, music, culture and entertainment, not to make them an idol, but to find the beauty, the art, that God put in them. God made things of value. Not just floating through life but being intentional and making choices.

Being more empathetic. The injury to my hand has changed the way I see the world in so many ways. I’m learning more to enter into other’s pain, to empathize and to better love them. There’s something about experiencing or watching a loved one go through something like this, suddenly it connects you with all the other people who’ve gone through similar things. 

No, I’m not sure I would go back in time and erase this event, this injury to my hand. I will never think the same way, or feel the same way again. I may not be able to have full mobility of my fingers, aside from a miracle from God. But I’m not sure I’d change it. Frodo experienced so much pain, growing in the hardship and being a part of something much bigger than himself. He didn’t want to go back and redo the past. He endured to the end because he was living for something larger than him self. He had wounds that never fully went away, the memory only moments away. I still think back to that day, that hour. Sometimes I’m filled with feat and sorrow, sometimes I laugh and talk about the adventures the things we do. As Hiccup put it “It’s an occupational hazard.” And so it is, so it is.

No, I have to believe that his happened for a reason. God had something different, and much better for me than I could have ever imagined, and it involved pain, and crying and depression, and tears and blood. And yet I have to believe, I truly believe this is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Through it all, God’s been faithful, through it all he’s always been right there, and He’s always way more interested in the journey than the destination.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Truly the seeming discord, the tension, the perception of bad and good is a complex thing, maybe too big for our human minds to see. I truly believed for a miracle, and Ive see God do them, but He chose not to do one for me, but rather walk the long hard road through the wilderness with me.

How can it be that so much good comes from so much pain? Joy from sorrow? This world is upside down.

We’re all looking for answers, trying to find meaning, and waiting for those moments of revelation—and it’s hard in the moment. It’s so hard to see beyond our present circumstances, but that’s what He’d have us do. To look beyond ourselves, and see the bigger picture. 

We’re waiting for those moments of clarity and answers and I’m here to say it will come. Thank you Father for circumstances you allowed to happen. The hard things that you’ve seen fit to befall me, for I wouldn’t be who I am today without a=walking through them. There’s no looking back in this life, it’s all pressing forward. It’s continuing to move on and adapt and become who we’re meant to be. The person God has for each of us to become. 

Maybe it’s prophetic, maybe it’s just foresight, and maybe those are the same thing. But I’ve known I would write this for a long time now, so here it is, at last.

The Journey

It’s really annoying being handicapped. I’ll be honest with you. It’s not a conscious thing it’s more subtle than that. It’s waking up everyday and realize that in someway you’re probably failing some body, or at least inconveniencing them. I’m not trying to be the victim, just getting my thoughts out.

I know that somewhere along the way I’ve not done a good enough job. I probably left that door open, I know I left that thing on your counter, and not being able to clean or organize after myself is frustrating. It’s not just the fact that I don’t have a right hand to help out with; but the fact that I need to be spending 10-20 minutes every stinking hour doing hand therapy. So yes, I will fail you, I will be a burden to you, I won’t be able to do a good enough job. I’m sorry. I didn't choose my circumstances. I didn't choose to fall down, I don't choose to be a burden, but unfortunately, thats just how it will be. It’s what we do with our circumstances that matters.

If I don't put in the time thatI need to right now in my hand therapy I’ll go the rest of my life with a bad hand. I have to look long term here. All those times I didn't do it right, made you wait for me, it will be the reason I can use my hand later on.

You see, normal people don't realize what’s like to be handicapped. Sure when it’s happening and right after surgery they are sympathetic, but it’s the long lonely journey, when you look just fine. No visible pain, you can make do with what you have. In their minds you are back to normal, you should keep up with the bills, with normal life, with what everyone else is doing. Its a lonely road, this path of recovery. No one to tell you what to do, no one to be there every time you don’t feel like doing your hand exercises but nudging you on, or telling you it’s worth it.

I have to remember all the time that doing hand therapy over that other important thing is worth it. That not getting back to that person, making them wait is okay. It’s a journey for sure, and most of the time not enjoyable, and lonely. God’s been teaching me things through it but I feel like hand therapy even takes away from time with Him. I’m struggling to stay focussed on Him, feeling like I’m failing Him in some way.

My hand

It began like any other morning, a little wet from a recent rain, the sun shining bright and early. Morning chores began around 6am, feeding and giving water to the chickens, and than onto moving pigs to a new plot of land. Machete in hand a new area was cleared and fenced lined up, and suddenly I can hear a buzzing and feel a stinging sensation, its bees. I hurriedly shout some warning to Jether and quickly turn myself to run to safety. With one thought in mind and machete in hand I run, make a leap in muddy boots and clear the fence, but after a few steps on uneven ground find myself quickly crumpling, I’ve tripped and fall forward. Somehow in the fall my hand had slipped down from handle onto blade and I know I’ve had cut my fingers. 

At this point my body is in shock, I find I cannot close my fingers by myself. It feels like a dream, a very bad dream. Can I just go back to sleep and wake up again? I don’t like the way this one is going. Still in shock I walk back to the truck, my first thought is to stop the blood, I go to my glove compartment and find my cayenne pepper, for just such a time as this. I throw it on and close my fist with my left hand.

We realize this is an emergency room situation, and after grabbing my wallet and phone get in my cousins car and take off 30min to the ER. Still in shock about everything, praying over my hand, expecting God to regrow my fingers in front of my eyes. I call several people, my cousin Casey who was on a job, my Uncle Tim, and then my Dad. The conversation with my Dad went something like “Hey Dad, I’ve got some serious news, I’m still a christian, and I’m still alive, but I’ve cut my hand very seriously with a machete.” He said they would be praying. I can only imagine how he relayed it to my family. 

The ER was scary, full of the unknown, I wanted a doctor to look at my hand and tell me everything was going to be alright. I was at peace, or else I was still in shock, probably both. I trusted my God through everything. My identity is not in my job or career, so if I fail at such, that’s okay, I’m a child of God. 

I’m not sure I could have handled the ER without my cousin Jether, my childhood best friend. He held my hand through stitches and pricks from needles. He was the solid rock that helped me through that day. 

I must’ve come out of shock a little after we got back from the ER, because the pain was overwhelming for almost 30-40 minutes. I hadn't felt the pain from the accident until then.

I went into surgery to repair tendons and came out of it quite groggy. I was fairly out of it / in a lot of pain for a day after surgery. My family was around and extended their visit by an extra couple days. I mentioned on Facebook I had no insurance or coverage and very little money, but I trusted God. I was blessed by multiple people who sent money.

I went for my checkup on Wednesday a week after surgery and found out that my pinky tendon had broken and they hadn't repaired it in surgery. I was shocked, some what disappointed with some frustration. I was given the options and the obvious answer was surgery as soon as possible for my pinky.

The second round of surgery was easier and went quicker. 

I don’t know if I’ll get 100% function back in my three fingers, I hope I do, I’m praying for complete recovery. I think I have more to do with my hands, my right hand. 

At this point I’ve hardly had any physical therapy. I also know its painful. It’s a stiff unused muscle kind of pain. I need to be strong mentally, physically, spiritually. Regaining strength is a slow process, but also a timely one. It takes diligence and discipline.

Until full recovery comes, I am getting good and being a lefty. I can type at a reasonable pace one handed, I can eat just fine, I’m learning to write and sign my name. If I come out of this with a perfect right hand than I’ll be ambidextrous. 

Limitations

Limitations, they hold us back, they keep us from achieving what we want to achieve, they show us where we are helpless.

I hate being limited. I’ve always hated it, it’s something I’ve fought against most of my life. For someone my age I feel pretty competent. I can teach myself a lot of things and a lot of things come fairly naturally. That’s probably why I hate being limited.

I hate waking up in the morning, knowing that a job or chore is going to take half of the day, or all of the day. If I come to the end of a day and I haven’t exhausted myself I feel I haven’t been a good steward of the day. There is so much to be done, I often find myself shaming myself for not working harder, not working longer, not spending myself thinner.

There is a part of that which is healthy, the striving for excellence in ones’ work. It’s admirable, and I think biblical to seek to attain greatness in one’s area of work or giftedness. There is a large part that is not healthy. God doesn’t ask us to spend our selves thin just working working working. He asks us to come to Him, seek Him and love those around us. There is a time to work and a time to rest. I think I can often beat myself up for not working harder when I’m missing the point. Live every day as a new day, don’t seek to cross off a list of a dozen projects, but seek to love God and man through the work. Yes work hard, and yes work long when it is needed, but don’t beat your self up because you didn’t put in 12 hours today. Did you love God, did you see others the way He sees them? It’s so much more about quality of work and quality of life than quantity. Live a full life, weather it’s short or long. Live well. Most of us don’t get to the end of our lives and wish we’d spent more time working. We wish we’d spent more time with family, more time pursuing God, pursuing life with others. 

So here is to learning to love myself the way God loves me. To see me the way He sees me. I want to do what He wants me to do. Sometimes that means working 12 hours and getting the job done, sometimes it means putting off on that project and taking in the beauty of the day, taking in the preciousness of the moment. 

Take a moment, look around you, love those you interact with, teach others what it means to truly live!

Untitled

Sometimes you get to the end of a long day, and it’s not even past 8 o’clock but you’re tired. And you really want to work on some music, because your thoughts have been going crazy and the swirling of emotions with the coming of a new season, cool weather, friendships and all of life’s crazy tangents that she throws at you. And of course for a song writer, someone who processes through writing, through poetry, through the uniting of words with music, this is all fodder. It’s merely a matter of sorting through, and picking up the pieces that are worth saving. Finding the phrases that match with the next set of words. To be honest I think I am more naturally lyrically gifted than I am with music. By that I mean I can write more songs than I can put to music. Which leaves me in the tough decision of what song is the best and work on that one. I don’t have a book or a manual to go off of, I’ve only got my experience with song writing and listening to others express their talents. I don’t know if I’m doing it right, but maybe it will be original. I’m not always sure that it’s the best out there, but it’s me. I think God gives all of us talents, and he doesn’t want us to bury them in the ground. He tells us to make the most with what we’ve been given. So honestly, I’m just trying to take what I’ve been given and go with it. But like I said, I’m too tired. I’m sore, physically tired, and I would rather just go to bed. So I compromise, by going downstairs to listen to Grace Vanderwaal (look her up, she’s awesome!) and drink some raw milk with dark chocolate chips.

-Zach

Back at farm life

It's harder than I remembered; and the reward is not always immediately gratifying.

I took a week off from farming, going straight for 3 months without more than a night or two away for a small camping adventure. It was good. There were not a lot of planned activities and a lot of it was just sitting around, sometimes talking, sometimes playing my guitar, occasionally playing a game of cards with my siblings. I was able to go running several times that week, I think that kept my body more in the routine of vigorous working that it was use to and it helped simulate being at work. It's been a while since I just sat around and didn't do much. There are pros and cons, two sides to every coin. It can lead to greater laziness (I'm not saying merely lying around is lazy, but can lead to a slothful mindset if not careful), or can lead to greater productivity. I believe God wants us to rest, He doesn't want us to be workaholics, slaves to our labor. He certainly enjoys when we work hard and put our mind and strength to work in which he created, but we must have room for rest. Sometimes that's hard for me; especially when I have trouble getting back into work from rest I wonder to myself "was that really worth it?"

I'm that guy who at the beginning of a week of vacation, thinks about how in one week it will all be over and then I try to savor every moment remembering how fast it will all go by. I enjoy pondering about things, the way life is, how fast time slips by. It's all very intriguing to me.

I guess I shouldn't have expected anything different. A week with your family and you remember how much fun you all have together, it's only natural to want more of that. You start questioning your commitment to work. I've committed at this point to working pretty much straight from February to November, without more than maybe a week off in March for my sister's wedding. My brain would have me question the motive for that, maybe that's too much work. Am I moving too fast? Trying to take on too much? I am that guy who will try to take on more responsibility than is wise, I have to remember that about myself. I tend towards taking on more work than is healthy.

Sometimes I even second guess my wanting to farm. Is this really where my soul is? It's hard work, and it is a lot of commitment. Like any home business it requires a dedication and drive to do it, often forgoing vacations or extravagance. Is this what I want? I remember the good times, when you harvest the first tomato, pluck the first few leaves of basil in June. After a hard days work coming back to a meal cooked mostly of fresh grown garden produce or home raised meat accompanied with a home brewed craft beer. It's also the community. Sharing stories of related gardening tactics or new methods of soil production; a local source of non-gmo grain for feeding chickens. Or going to the farmers market and seeing again just how many dedicated people there are doing what you're doing and living the dirty life.

So here I am, back at farming. I've got 12 more weeks of vegetable CSA, and I'm just getting into raising broilers for meat. I've got half a dozen projects I need to complete for different areas of the farm. I've also got to work on my tiny house so that I can finally have my own space to cook, live, sleep and just be. I need the drive that will empower me to work hard and long hours. I also need the wisdom to know what jobs need to be priority. Which days I need to be doing what. The dirty life of farming. I'm here, I may as well make the most of it.

This whirling inside of me

The emotions that flood me are swinging like a pendulum from some giants hand. The tumbling rush of endorphins makes me dizzy, hardly daring to take a step towards any one thought or conclusion. Inside the whirling questions that beg an answer beating me for what they pray I have. But they are mistaken, I don't hold the key, I'm merely a spectator in this coliseum spectacle, hoping to make it out alive. I don't have the answers or the reasons, I've lost the logic that I thought I once had and maturity is thrown to the wind. Behind me screams a thousand what ifs and what could be and ahead lies one road. Traveled by many who have gone before, egging me to follow in their footsteps. Dare I step out into the new, the cold, the shrouded place of mystery and unknown that mankind wishes for but never holds? I don't know. I'm trying my best to believe that there is something bigger than me at play here. That my daily thoughts and desires are maybe, just maybe in the hands of someone much bigger than I. That the feelings I have just might be from someone who knows me better than I do. I'm lost in this sea of emptiness, looking for a way above the waves. Hoping for a path to higher ground, but not sure of the way. Take me to a place of consolation, where all worries vanish like the darkness of the night to dawns early rays. Bring me out of this pit of wondering into the resting place of steadying. 

The Dirty Life

I don't have time to write this, I got up at 5am, it’s almost 9pm now, and I am getting up at 4:30am, but I don’t care.

I also don’t care that I’m eating blueberry cobbler with vanilla ice cream. It’s the little things that make the farm life worth it.

I was gonna pay myself for working on the farm, and then farm happened. I don’t think I’m getting paid. That’s okay.

To be honest it’s really hard. Not every waking moment, not getting up at 5am everyday even, but it is wearing. I live where I work. At the end of a 12 hour day (I usually start farm work at 6:30am) I don’t get to go home from work, I live at work. Of course there are pros and cons to it. I usually see the pros, but eventually I need a break. I usually get enough work off the farm doing side jobs that it gives me enough break. However, there come times when I just need to get out into a coffee shop and absorb it all.

Managing a farm is frustrating, because there are too many things to do. There are literally too many tasks on a farm to complete them all. The only farm that gets everything done isn’t making money, because the amount of workers to work is too high.

I have to think about soil mixes, and organic fertilizers and when I want to spray, because the ideal time is in the morning, but there’s more to be done early in the day and it gets pushed to the afternoon and then I can’t spray because the oil might sunburn the leaves. The tomatoes need twining to keep them up, I really need to water the okra, but because it’s above the garden I don’t always think of it and it is drying up. I should’ve thinned the greens growing by the house, but I didn’t get around to it and now they’re competing too much and stressing each other out. I really need to think about starting the Fall seeds because it takes 3 months for them to mature, and 3 months from now is September, almost Fall. With farming you’re always looking ahead, always planning, always trying to be one step ahead of nature. The greenhouse plants need watering twice a day, I usually do it once because I’m trying to figure out where I can buy a large quantity of greensand and blood meal at a good price. I’m researching my garden books to figure out what they’re doing wrong and what they’re doing right. I’m also trying to figure out how the freckle you grow good micro greens. It’s simple, right? You plant a seed and cut it when it’s an inch tall? Apparently I’m missing something.

It’s good though, it really is. I’m making connections with breweries to pick up spent grains, and local food banks for getting excess waste. We pick up bread from the local bakery for our pigs and chickens. I’m meeting people all the time who are interested in farming and what we’re doing and our Farm to Table dinners seem to be an amazing hit. Someone recently asked me how I was feeling about this, if I was planning to continue on for next year. While I’m not ready to say I’m here for 10 years I’m ready to commit to the next year and probably the next. I’ve put too much into this to just walk away. 

I really need to take some business classes, online, free, or something, I think they would help. I’m doing my best, but I know I can learn more. Social media networking I’d love to learn more about, but some of it kind of comes naturally. Gardening is a passion I’ve had for a long time, but I’m not expert. It makes me wonder, if I am doing all this at such an amateur level, is everybody else doing the same thing?

I love the place. I love the people I’ve met, it’s a great community to be in. Chattanooga is a cool town, big enough to have a choice of what gourmet restaurant to eat at, but small enough that your view is not obscured by a dozen sky scrapers every time you take that selfie. 

English Vintner

What are we doing?

Do we really have it all figured out? Am I going through life simply to fit in because I have made a conscious decision to do so, or am I just not putting the effort and energy into figuring out what I really want? The real me, what does it desire? I often ponder these thoughts. (Sometimes I wonder if I should’ve gone into philosophy, I’m sure I would’ve found it fascinating)

We go through life so fast, not thinking about what we’re really doing, what is really happening, what really matters. Is it more important that someone ate up the last lemon, or was it worth it that that person got hurt when you yelled at them? What should’ve really happened in that situation? It’s just a lemon, and yet it meant so much to you in that moment that yelling at him and making him feel bad was the most important thing. We all do that. It’s why so many people hate themselves and find no self worth. They only have degrading things to say about themselves and so bring others to look down on them and that continues the downward spiral into depression and suicidal thoughts. That’s not the way Jesus views you. What does Jesus see? Isn’t it about time we started viewing ourselves and others the way Jesus looks at them? A daily prayer I try to make is “Father, give me your eyes to see people the way you see them.” Jesus said that he only did that which He saw His Father in heaven doing. I think that’s a pretty good model.

It’s so easy to look at where we are in life, single, married, parents, jobless, starting a career, retirement, whatever it may be and be dissatisfied with where we are. We assume that given time, we will change our character, we will change the habits we want to break, and yet, on our own strength and will we so often find ourselves doing the same things over and over. Age 25 we’re married and have a kid, and we’re yelling at the child like we saw our Dad do to us. We take another drag on the cigarette, thinking, I’ll get off it next week. We put of exercising and say next week I’ll try to cut back on my food and try to get to the gym. But here’s the fact, putting something off doesn’t make it any easier, it merely causes more stress. We push our fears aside, but never really take the time to figure out why we have them. We’d rather go around with bandaids covering up broken legs than actually get to the root issue and find a lasting solution. It takes self evaluation. It takes quiet time and reflection. It takes asking specifically for Jesus to step into your life in specific ways; and it also takes discipline. Start with something small. We all do things in life we’d rather not do. Getting out of bed is often not what we want, but we do it anyway. Pick up the Bible and read a chapter, not to get a list of what you should today or how you should act, but to get to know the one who wrote the book. You see, if we become bogged down with reading the bible or going to church to help us, we’ve missed the point. It’s not some self-help book with positive thinking. It’s getting to know Jesus. It’s reading about the God who has made all of history and finding out his character. How He treats people, why He loves us, why He’s created us. It’s to have a relationship with God. Where we talk to Him, and He talks back. Where we come to Him with questions, and he responds and gives us answers. Not always in our own way or time, but He is a God who never lets a promise go.

We expect change to happen, without us having to put any effort into it. That’s not the case. But we can’t pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps either. By diving into the word of God, spending quiet time listening to the Holy Spirit and actively changing the way we think and act is how we will change. God tells us to be perfect, as he is perfect; Holy as He is Holy, and I don’t think He would say this, if He didn’t give us the tools to do so. The tools are a relationship with His Son Jesus Christ and communion with the Holy Spirit. Aligning our lives up with the way God wants us to live. You can be a loving person who seeks the good of others before thinking of himself. You can be someone who is blessed with favor in order that you can bless others as you have been. You can be someone who reaches out to others and seeks to sit with the lowly and walk along side the poor. You can be the person that others look up to and give wise counsel and encouragement as a warrior in Christ. 

I just want the world to know what true love is. Because if they really understood it, all our problems would be gone. Even Christians don’t fully grasp it. True love, the love that Christ gives us transforms every part of our lives. It is the power that will change nations and start revivals. It’s the weapon that will break demonic strongholds over cities and regions. Love is what matters. It defeats the big and the little. We need it to get through every day life, seemingly doing the same things over and over again. We need it to get through the big hurdles in life, too. The mile markers and commitments. In the end, without a relationship with the Father, all if for naught. You will never experience what He has for you, and life will always come up short, never feeling like you are quite satisfied.

English Vintner

The Next Chapter

It’s been a long time since I’ve written, I guess you could blame it on a number of things. Juggling lots of things with my time, getting ready to transition, and the fact that I don’t always know what to write from or about. Anyhow, I expect to be writing more in the coming months, as I’ll have more time to myself and missing my family often increases my writing about my life to or for them to read.

I am moving to Chattanooga in March, the 15th to be exact. I don’t have a lot of concrete things I’ll be doing, except that I’m going to help start a garden CSA with my cousin Jether. 

There are lots of other things I want to do or I am thinking about, but just how many of those other things I do will depend on my determination and what I prioritize. I’ve fantasized about starting an artisan bakery because I’m very much into artisan bread right now. I’ve always been fascinated by bread making, and have been doing it for years off and on, but it wasn’t until I got some bread making supplies for my brother as a birthday gift that things started to change. He picked up the book Flour Water Salt Yeast, by Ken Forkish which is undoubtedly the best book I’ve read for home baking artisan breads. Simple, yet basic and traditional ingredients to create rustic loaves that taste wonderful and look beautiful. I’ve gone through most of his breads in the book and have a pretty good knowledge of baking, and I’ve already had years of experience working in a kitchen. So, I fantasize about starting a bakery in Chattanooga, but they already have a good artisan bakery and it’s hard to say if I could compete.

I still plan to roast coffee; offering it in our CSA. Once again, I’d love to start a coffee shop in Chattanooga, but they’ve got several great roasters and the completion could be tough. Having something to set yourself apart would be essential. Sometimes I just have to remind myself I’m only 22 years old, and most people don’t start a business until much later in life. I’ve still got time.

I’m pretty excited to be farming and can’t wait to see where it will take us. I can’t wait to be a living example to people of how great permaculture design and growing really is. To build a system where you’re not losing anything to waste. A garden that can feed 50 people a year and not use a tractor. There is so much to explore and I can’t wait to get started. I’m not looking forward to the business side of things. I’m a bit of entrepreneur, as if you needed me to say that by now, so there is a side that loves starting a business, but I’m also one who doesn’t like spending hours on a computer. I want to be out feeding chickens, planning a garden, or planting beans. I am labeled the Business Manager this year, and while we don’t have a lot of shares, I’ll be keeping track of money and figuring out everything that goes into a business. 

I’ve almost finished recording an album. I have a couple hours left to finish recording, and hopefully will have that out before I leave for Chattanooga. I played at a show in December and I’m playing again next month. Hopefully I will continue playing in Chattanooga as well. While I’m not sure how much I want to get into music, it’s definitely a part of me. I like the challenge of exploring music and finding something that’s your own, not riding on the notes of someone else. It’s always a challenge for the artist to use the same thing as everyone else (paints/brushes/music/instruments), make it different , yet sound similar enough to be able to say who the artist is.

I don’t know everything about this next chapter of life, but who does? We only get one shot at this, so I guess I’ll give it my best.

English Vintner

Chattanooga

A lot of people have seen my love for Chattanooga over the years. I love the time I've got to spend there. While the city is very cool, and I have a love I can't quite understand it's also the people I've met there and know there who make it what it is. The Covenant College crowd never ceases to amaze me, genuine people with a love for God and his people.

My time spent this past week was with my cousins, mostly. Who live 25 minutes from Chattanooga.
We spent the time talking about the farm/garden they have and what people are looking at for their future. My Uncle Tim doesn't see being able to make a living simply from the farm and can't put in the hours for it therefore, but is happy for someone to make a CSA out of it and make a little money from it. (If people paid the real price of food it would go up 50-70%! Seriously!)

My cousin Jether and I have had this dream for years, a dream of working land together and growing food for ourselves and others. It might just be coming true. While I don't expect it to be the main source of my income, for 2016 I presume to be putting most of my hours towards it. I'm still young, and don't mind working hard right now, either.

While I'm not super tech savvy, and can't do a whole lot with putting together a website I've got social networking skills, and know how to work social media and other things such as taking photos and getting them uploaded. I helped redo some of the facebook page while I was there, as well as write up a CSA brochure that we'll hand out to customers who are interested. I did online research and rewrote a CSA contract for us to use with all our CSA customers.

A quick review of what a CSA is for those who don't know. It stands for Community Supported Agriculture. Basically at the beginning of the year the customer pays x amount of money for x amount of vegetables each week. The farmer says he'll do whatever he can to make that amount each week of produce, but things happen. That's where Community Supported comes into play. The customer says I'm willing to support my local farmer who is underpayed (very few farmers are payed what they're worth) and give him the money up front and hope to get vegetables for this year. It's a way of reconnecting or maybe connecting people to the land for the first time. It's building relationships with the people growing your food and is a great for educating people on farming. It also opens the door for other things tied in with a CSA, such as Farm to Table dinners and other events on the farm.

The plan is to do 10 CSA shares next year, and the hope to grow about 15 shares worth of food. Our first goal in having the farm was to provide for ourselves first, and then to others. We don't want to sacrifice our own food to feed others, we don't see that as beneficial or productive to the system. We will do two CSA's. One from May-July and another from August-October. Throughout the growing season we expect to do cooking classes for people to learn ways to cook with the food they're getting. We'll throw Farm to Table dinners which is another easy way to get a little more income, as well as just being plain fun. The opportunities are endless with Natural Ways Homestead. The only downside is the fact that of the 89 acres they live on, only a couple are cleared for pasture or garden. But we have so many resources at our finger tips. It's exciting just thinking about it.

I'll be moving out in March to start working. At that point it will mostly be greenhouse starting seeds and mulching areas of the garden and working on systems to get the CSA in place.

I'm excited to see where this adventure will take me. Taking it one year at a time.


English Vintner

Be Still and Know that I AM God

Be still and know that I Am God.

I think this past year has been one of coming to a resting place with God and where I am in life. But before I can talk about this past year I think I need to talk about the previous year.

A year ago I was finishing up my second round of vaccinations in order to go to Karamoja, Uganda to work with the Orthodox Presbyterian Mission. But let me back up to a year before that, January 2013.

 I found out about a ministry in Charlotte, One7 that brings kids into their soccer club program and provides housing for immigrants and needs for the needy. They needed guys to come and hangout with the kids as well as serve as a small group leader on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I got hooked on it, I loved serving in a way I hadn’t yet been able to do my whole life. I was starting to understand what I thought the way I should be living my life, one of servitude to those who are in greatest need spiritually and physically. I went once or twice every week consistently from April to June and quickly got to know the kids and loved being there. It just felt so, right. 

In mid June I got a call from Isaiah, my brother who was at the Boardwalk Chapel Ministry in New Jersey. They were short on staff for the Summer and asked if I wanted to come. So without any money for the trip and without waiting to get a recommendation from my Pastor at the time, I said yes. I’d just read where Jesus is walking by the sea and sees Peter and calls to him “Come follow me and I will make you fishers of men.” . God was teaching me to be spontaneous, asking me if I would trust Him even when I can’t see around the bend.

I spent the Summer learning a lot about evangelizing, playing music, and having conversations about Jesus with random people on the boardwalk and seeing some of them come to Jesus! 

Before I came home I’d already signed up to be part of a team doing a Water Project in Honduras. I wanted to go for several reasons. My cousins, who I am very close to had lived in Honduras for several years. Besides that, two of them were going on the trip. 

In November we left and spent a full week in a remote village working along side the people digging trenches for the piping and getting to experience what life is like without electricity, running water, or much of anything else. It was a humbling experience and got me to ask a lot of questions about my theology and what I believed and thought about living a ‘Christian Life’.

Before I left for the trip I sent in my application to the Uganda Mission board to see if they would accept me and let me ‘visit’ for 3 months doing diaconal work, namely working on construction projects. 

Before Christmas I got the ‘yes’ I needed and planned for going. Crazy things happened around that time and I almost didn’t end up going. But God came through and I put my last penny to the trip and left on a plane to spend 90 days in Uganda. 

Right before the trip that I’d read Shane Claiborne’s book The Irresistible Revolution which turned my world on end and got me to ask a hundred questions about everything I thought I’d believed. 

My time in Uganda was very sweet. Many moments of missing home and other comforts, like a laptop or even music on an ipod, but it was overall very good. I got a lot of life experience living there and learned a lot of skills with concrete and metal.

I got home from Uganda unsure of what was next. I’d spent the last year and a half going going going. I hadn’t taken a deep breath yet. I took a week off before going back to restaurant work, which was probably the smartest thing I ever did. (Jet lag didn’t hit me until I had been in the States for over a week!)

In the past three years I’d been to Peru twice, Honduras, Uganda and had spent a Summer volunteering at the Boardwalk in New Jersey. What was next, Eastern Europe? 

But as I settled into life I realized God was telling me to slow down. I’d spent the last year and a half going all around the world learning and seeing so much, and now He wanted me to sit down and take it easy. I felt guilty not jumping back into One7 and not having as much energy for other serving opportunities, I wasn’t sure what was going on. I finally realized I had not rested for a long time and I needed to regain my energy. Take a breath before I pass out and really can’t do anything.

Here I am. Remembering a year ago getting ready to go to Uganda, the adventurous part of me wants to do it again. 

I want to talk about some small things in my life that in some ways are big. I feel like the year 21 for me is going to be in some ways a starting point for something big. I expanded my coffee business, selling at a local Farmers Market. I built a pyramid, I got a wood stove, have a chicken coop and 12 chickens. I’ve spent the last 8 years yearning to be able to do or have these things and now they have COME TRUE! I see this year as having a lot of potential.

In November I started going to a church with my brother and sister-in-law Josiah and Jo. The church was in so many ways an answer to prayer. I’d been looking for more in my walk with God and wanted a way to learn it. The Pastor is very spirit led and down to earth. I am always amazed how much power his words have. His relationship with God is amazing to see and inspiring. Last week I was asked to join the worship team and I readily agreed. I will be on acoustic guitar or electric, as well as some vocals and drums. 

What’s next for me? I don’t know. I think God has me here for maybe a year and then He’s moving me to Chattanooga; another dream that would come true. My best friend and cousin Jether is starting a farm with his family. I plan on joining them next year if things go as planned. If I do I would move down there and try to continue my coffee business there as I see potential. It will be a bittersweet time I think, moving away from my siblings and family here, but also being able to live with/near my family there in Chattanooga.

I am seeking to follow God and do what He wants me to do. I am working at putting ministry into a daily activity, like breathing. I want servitude to be so much apart of who I am that you can’t separate it from me. I want Jesus’ love to be seen through me. I’ve got a long way to go, but this is my prayer.

Still Moments

The rain drops splattered all around, glistening with the last rays of the sun, surprising the already bent grass into the ground. Something about it was soothing. The gentle rhythm of drip drop, drip drop drop, drip drop, drip drop drop. Beside me lies a 110lb goat, silky black hair with white spots. Her personality was type-A, out-going and friendly, not afraid to show me affection, licking my legs, arms and face. I drew again on my hand rolled cigarette, held it for a moment in my mouth, and exhaled letting the sweet smell of pipe tobacco fill the small enclosure of the lean-two. I didn’t feel a rush of nicotine, that wasn’t why I did it. It’s like a cup of joe in the evening after a long day of working, it’s not about the caffeine for me, it’s about the flavor. If I wanted caffeine I could stop by Starbucks and pick up a cup of joe, or get a pound of Maxwell for $2.99 from the store. It’s not about the caffeine, it’s about the flavor, the little that the caffeine does for me I enjoy, but it’s more of a side note or benefit than anything else.

It’s like a glass of Cabernet after a dinner, the rush of flavors wash over my mouth, I can smell and taste the oak that the wine was aged in, the long hours spent picking the grapes by hand, fermenting it in large vats, and eventually aged in a bottle for who knows how long. It’s not about the alcohol, if it was I would’ve gone for the vodka, cheap and gets the job done faster than a six pack or a bottle of wine. It’s not about the nicotine, it’s about the flavor, it’s about the smell, getting away for a ‘breath of fresh air’. 

I sat there, rain steadily petering out as the sun faded into the west. I felt peace, I felt calm. It’s the still moments you remember. You don’t remember running to the store to get the jug of milk before they close at 10pm, you don’t remember driving to your wedding day celebration at the church at noon. You remember the event that happened, not what got you there. You remember the still moments, searching the shelf for the best price for milk, standing there while you hardly hear the preacher pronounce you man and wife. You remember the still moments in life, the quiet times. 

It’s the walk in the woods with no one around. The birds chirping from their trees, wind rustling the leaves, rocks slowly growing lichen on their ever greening skin. Ferns clumped by the base of a small cedar, the slight drop off at the edge of the boulders. It’s the stillness in life that we remember, it’s the stillness in life that we need.

English Vintner

Busy? Nah. . .

Sometimes I feel like I’m busy. I am a go getter in a lot of ways. You could liken me to one of those super Moms who works part time, runs around and cleans up the house, runs a side business and still has time to spend time with her kids. Except, I’m not a Mom, and I don’t have kids. I’m a 20 year old who’s not sure what’s going on, but I’m working 18+ hours a week at a restaurant (where we get slammed with 75+ people for lunch everyday!), one day a week (8-10hrs) working a bread route with my Dad, and starting a coffee roasting business selling at an early morning Saturday Farmers Market. 

When I’m not working for pay I’m running around the house tidying up the mess I may or may not have made because, I’m a little OCD about a messy house and I like the peace of a clean one, which is what I strive for.

You might find me planting seeds for a Fall Garden and figuring out how to keep the deer out of my garden without any electricity access. IE Using old tomato twine and orange construction netting to hinder those beastly creatures from gorging themselves on my tender shoots.

When I’m tired of gardening but still like sweating out-doors I might be seen running around like a maniac, throwing huge stones into a wheel barrow to landscape my patio project in the woods. Mixing up cement to throw together a wine bottle wall topped with a poured cement slab with tile to make a bench retaining wall.

I get up 6am three days a week to go to work at Stone Table Cafe. The one day I work with my dad we get up at 4am. On Saturdays I get up at 5:30am to prepare for Farmers Market, and on Sunday I get up at 7am to throw the sticky buns in the oven for breakfast. If you’re doing the math that leaves me with one more day out of the week. And because I love early mornings I often get up on my one day off because I like to enjoy my early mornings with peace, quiet, and coffee. 

Sleep? Who needs that anyway? I mean if you’re running a coffee roasting business you’re bound to have surplus coffee, which means a higher caffeine intake which substitutes for less sleep, right?

In other words, my life is never boring. 

I have to find time to make peace and quiet in my life. And, even though I’m somewhat introverted I love the loudness of a busy house, the constant busyness that I’m in. I work best under it. I’m glad I make time to write music and play guitar because those moments are often the few moments out of the day where I sit down and reflect and think. 

I have my hands in too many things, but I’m too afraid to pull them out. I’m like the monkey with his hands full of nuts in the bottle; my hands are stuffed and I can’t escape.

No, I love my life. I really do. I am making by with the income I have (by that I mean I’m a couple grand in the hole LOL), I still have time to make music, write songs, and do art. And every once in a while play a long game of Catan with my brothers!

English Vintner

Leaving

It's been three months. I really can't believe it, I can't quite grasp the reality that three months ago I was sitting in my living room wondering if my canceled flights would be ressurected so I could fly the following morning. It feels like yesterday, it really does. I think the older you get the faster time flies.

I came here with much different expectations than what happened or what I was doing. I came here expecting to be in a tight community of believers with a unified focus on what they were doing and good personal accountability. What I found was a bit different. I didn't feel like the community was tight, and sometimes it was hard to tell what the focus was, and because the community didn't feel really tight there was not any real personal accountabilty for me. Now I know things were different, more than half the mission was on furlough and there were spouses in other parts of the country so I can base my experience on what the mission is doing, and I'm not trying to. I'm not here to tell you how bad my experience was in Uganda, but how different it was. There is great work happening in Karamoja, but it took a while for me to see it and realize it, along with the difference of work I would be doing.

The mission is doing great work with teaching teachers and starting schools in Karamoja. There is good diaconal work being done and there are a lot of exciting oppurtunities that the mission has. I worked mostly on a construction project the entire time, learning skills that pertain to construction in a third world country. Eight years ago I helped finish our log house and learned a lot of skills from cutting wood to wood construction, but that is far different than construction in a third world country. Termites are inevitable here and so the use of wood in construction is minimal to non-existent. For sure the basic skills I learned of construction were very handy, but the specifics didn't cross over. I learned welding (I'm no expert, but I can do a strong weld with stick rods), metal cutting (had a near accident with a grinder when it flew out of my hands and cut through my pants, almost giving me a serious injury), stone masonry and brick masonry, mixing concrete (I did a LOT of that), making forms and pouring concrete, plastering, basic engine repair and trouble shooting, and I even got to help start the hanging of the metal roof before I left. All this was under the oversight of Bob Wright, though most of the time I worked with three Ugandan brothers who work for him on the mission.

I also went deeper in my personal devotions. I didn't bring my laptop, and internet was limited for those who did have internet, thus my intereaction on line was limited to once a week or so (and the last four weeks in Karamoja I didn't get on at all), I did have a phone for in country and made good use of that. I probably spent more money on airtime than I should've, but when your only communication is a phone, you start to use it. :) I did a lot of reading. I brought four or five books with me and got two or three more from Londa, I read all of them in the first 6 weeks of being here. I also had a goal to get through my entire Bible during my time here (I ended up being able to do it in 75 days) which I did. During the end of my time when I'd read anything that looked interesting I decided to read Harry Potter, a series of books I was interested in reading, but never had the time at home. I knew my only time to read them would be here. I read through it all in a week, which meant more than a couple nights of staying up till 2am and getting up at 7am. But because of my limited amount of distractions I had a lot of time to myself. I used the time to further my devotions in reading God's Word and praying a lot, as well as other reading and guitar playing. I greatly improved my guitar playing here, thanks to many hours of playing and a few hints and tips from people here who are really good.

I thought I would have a lot more interaction with people, but in Karamoja because it's so remote and the work I was doing, I really didn't get out much. God's schedule for me here was to focus on practical skills I can use to bless others where ever I am, but especially on the mission field, and personal devotion time. It's not what I was expecting, but I'm so grateful for what God has done.

I like Uganda I really do. It was hard not being able to speak the native tongue, but most people are decent with English (if I knew as much of their native language as they knew English I'd be more than impressed with myself!). I enjoyed getting to know the people at the mission I worked with and was blessed by the sermons and worship on Sundays and the Bible Studies during the week. I rode down with Bob to Jinja where I was staying a week before leaving the country and thought it was a great way to end my time here, since I came here to work with Bob. He said he was impressed with my relational skills, my ability to work well with my hands, and that anything I put my mind to do I would do well at. He said anytime I want to come back I'm welcome to come work for him. It was a very encouraging time and I really like Bob and his family.

I spent the last week here in Jinja very much enjoying myself. I stayed at Street Child Project where my sister Londa is working with her friend Elena. In the mornings I spent with Londa, shopping for a few gifts for family and friends, walking around downtown Jinja, and using the internet and getting coffee at cafes. In the afternoons and evenings it's been with the boys at Street Child. They range from 8-18, and have been a blast to get to know and hang out with. We played guitar and sang songs, painted, drove around in the van, and just enjoyed being around them. We took them to Amani Baby Cottage and I got to see the children there again. It's been a good way to end my time in Uganda.

English Vintner

The Masterpiece We're Living

Life always seems to be so up and down, why does it do that to you? Why does it show you one thing and do another? Unpredictable. We can cure cancer and can land on Mars but we still haven’t figured out how to predict the future. We think we’re so smart, so capable of anything.

Why is life so confusing? So many ropes tugging at you, pulling you in every direction. Which one to take? The road is dividing before my eyes. Why make plans anyway, there is no way to be certain of anything. The only thing certain is uncertainty. Is there more to life than this. 

Is there a limit to the limitless? A stirring for the restless. Something deeper here. Can one fathom the unfathomable of life? Is there an artist for this canvas? An author for this story? A director for this play?

If we are the spot on the canvas, the character in the story, the actor for this play than shouldn’t we live like we are? If we know the director of this tale, then what is there to worry? We know how it ends, it is alright in the end. In the end we get rescued by the prince. In the end the veil is lifted and we see all thing clearly. Looking back at the story everything makes sense, it’s only in the moment that we cannot see past our predicament. 

When you’re not sure you like the picture just wait, it’s not finished yet. He’s still painting the canvas. When you’re stuck in a tight spot and there’s no way out, don’t give up, in the end you are rescued. When you are not sure who you are and how to act, don’t worry, your character is not finished. In the end everything is alright. The wrong is undone, the evil destroyed, the monster comes to an end. This fairy tale turns out alright, and everyone knows that tension is what makes a great story. When you’re on the edge of your seat waiting to turn the page, knowing that he will get out of the scape he’s in. It’s exciting, it’s an adventure, it’s the masterpiece that we’re living in. 

English Vintner

It's life here

Well, well, I am sitting in a comfortable home in the city of Mbale, Uganda. Internet is fast, good food around me, and fun fellowship with the people surrounding me too. Once a month the OPCU Mission has a get together, the two missions, one in Mbale and the other in Karamoja have a meeting and talk about the work that each individual is doing. It is usually a two or three day visit. Last month they had the Mission meeting in Karamoja and the two families from Mbale OPCU came up, this month the Karamoja team came down. Some of us came down on Wednesday, and the rest of us on Thursday. We enjoyed fellowshiping and meeting each other over dinner Thursday night. Friday morning the meeting starts at 9am and goes until 4:30pm, or so I've heard. With plenty of breaks for coffee, lunch, and snacks.

So, now that you know where and why I'm here I'll tell you what I did. I slept at Bryce's house last night with Jesse and James. Jesse and James are two MA's who work at the Karamoja compound. Bryce works for Bob Wright drilling bore holes for wells all over the country. He recently bought a house in Mbale and that's where I slept last night. Despite the fact that I brought single sheets for a double bed I slept alright. The room cooled down nicely with a breeze, and the mosquitos were kept at bay thanks to a mosquito net. For breakfast we drove to a hotel that had a cafe, we got fried dough and some mandazi's which are a mixture of meat and other vegetables wrapped in dough and fried. It was pretty tasty, I must say. After the quick meal we drove back to the Webbers where we had dinner the night before to pick up Sarah to drop her and James off at a hospital in town, I think they're doing some kind of one day interning or something. They both work at the medical clinic in Karamoja.

After dropping them off we came to the Tunega's house, where the meeting was. Taryn was gracious enough to let me use her lap top while she met with everyone else. I was able to get on email and facebook and some other things. You know what I've found out? The less you're on the internet, the less you want or or can think of to do when you get back on the internet! Seriously! I find myself checking gmail and facebook and after 10 minutes thinking, what else do you do online anyway? I guess it's like any addiction, once you're off it long enough it doesn't have the same draw as you thought it did when you were on it. It's cool though. At 10:30am the Wright kids, Bobby, Anna, Mary and Kipsey and I went into town. We took pikis to town and went into a thriftshop. I got a shirt for working, since I don't have very many, and it said Eat Fresh Eat Local, which struck a chord with me. It turned out to only be 1000 shillings, which, is very cheap. (My exchange rate was 2400 shillings to the dollar). After the thriftshop we went to a grocery store and got a few items, I picked up some black tea and biscuits. Then we went to market, the place where you barter for everything. I wasn't planning to do very much shopping but I wanted to get some gun boots. I bartered down a little for them, but I'm sure I could've done better, oh well, I just stimulated the economy a little more in Uganda. Then the guy wanted me to buy a shirt, I was interested in getting a Uganda jersey to remember the country by (I got a Honduras jersey when I was there). He picked it out and told me the price, I got him down a little bit and bought it, then he wanted me to buy shorts to go with it. Well, I wasn't very into getting matching shorts, just not my thing, but, he insisted. First 15000 shillings but he brought the price down to 7000. I figure if I don't where them I can donate them to One7 ministry where they are always taking clothes to give to their kids and give away to people who really need them.

It's fun though. I found out that it cost me about 11 cents a minute to call home. I thought it was much higher than that. I calculated it out after I talked with my family for 50 minutes on Wednesday night. I also found out that I brought a lot more money than I needed. I guess some people spend a lot when they go places, but I tend to be thrifty when I can, for the sake of being thrifty but I've also been convicted by David Platt to spend money, or put money where it really makes a difference. As someone put it Live Simply so others can Simply Live. I think I'm going to have at least 500USD leftover. So I've been praying about it and asking God what he wants me to do with it. I don't feel like putting it into my wallet for my personal spending, that doesn't feel right. So, I might be using it to fund a Jesus Wedding Feast or some such event, or just use it to bless the poor and the homeless where God shows me. After my plane ticket and shots and the initial cost of living on the compound it was a bit less than what I was suggested to raise, so that's where the extra money came from.

I realize as I'm in Mbale that the city of a country is so much different from the 'country'. Up in Karamoja is a much different place than here in Mbale. In Karamoja people are living on much less every day than in the city. You grab a piki all the time here, but in Karamoja it is still largely centered on agriculture. People have to rely on their own means of growing their beans and other staples and vegetables. In the city, people have higher paying jobs and buy everything. I don't know which I like better. I use to think I was a country kid, and in a sense I think I still am. But as I've grown to love community and people, I really like city's. Especially third world markets and such, they're all very similar. Honduras, Peru, Uganda, I've been to market in those three countries and it's pretty much the same, and I love it. I love the dirt, the guy who's sitting in the middle of the sidewalk and you have to step over or around him. Fresh bananas being sold by that lady over there. A kid walking down the street drinking from a bag of water, yes a bag! Sure they all have differences but a third world country is a third world country.

Being a farmer in the US is much different than being a farmer else where in the developing world. In the developing it's a way of survival, in the US where there are so many options it's much more one of the many vocations, or even a luxury, as we see hipster trending organic farms pop up all over the place selling high prices quality produce. I like the city, I like the community, I like being close to people, but I also like the country, I like being able to garden, farm.

Lately I've been doing masonry work with the Ugandans who work for Bob. Which means mixing cement and wheel barrow it into the house and scoop it into basins and hand up to the roof of the house where we're building a wall. The perimiter of the house needs mason work done from where the top of the wall is to where it meets the roof. Finding rocks that fit, are straight and don't fall off the wall onto is the challenge.

The stars here are amazing. Jim Knox pointed out to me the Southern Cross constellation last week after an authentic Ugandan meal which consisted of butchering chickens for it and ended with a dance party.

The rainy season hasn't started yet. I mean it has, but it's stopped. Which, is nice for the rich people who drive cars and drive down to Mbale, but for the poor who are cultivating the land it means no food. It's time to plant beans and everything else, and without rain there will be no food. It rained for 3 days last week but it stopped again, so who knows what the rainy season will look like this year.

I'm listening to music right now as I write this, actually Science and Faith by Script. But what I recently found out is that I love music. As in, LOVE! After being away from home for 5 weeks and with no computer or other device to listen to familiar music I realized that I crave it so much sometimes. I actually sometimes call Londa in Jinja when she's on her computer to play me a song over the phone because I miss it so much! :) I love blasting music over our speakers and having instant access to whatever music I want. It really is a blessing, a luxury. I took it for granted until I'd gone without it for 5 weeks. You know, you can go without a lot of things for a little while. You can forget your phone and laptop for a week of vacation at the beach, but you come right back to it when you get back home. It's so different when you actually settle into live somewhere without those luxuries. The mundane can become the norm. You have to figure out what to do, fill that time with something else. It's sometimes frustrating to be without it, because, sure everyone likes to think of getting off the phone or laptop, but you don't think of giving it up. And when you're away from something for 12 weeks, that's long enough to know what it's like to give something like that up. I know what it's like to go somewhere and be without something. I'm constantly asking to borrow a laptop for my needs. I don't have it at my finger tips. I can't play music because it will slow the internet down (in Karamoja it's a high commodity ) .

But life is good. It's more down to the basics. I'm doing a lot of reading, and since I read the dozen or so books I brought in the first 4 weeks I'm just reading my Bible. I'm seeing how fast I can read through it, I think sometime in May I will be finished, which is sooner than my goal was. I wanted to finish before I left, but I'm going to finish before then. I found that reading the Bible chronologically as it's put in the order it's printed makes me crave the New Testament. It's not that I don't like reading the OT, but I have a craving for the story of when Love walked among us, in the four gospels. And the writings of Paul and the letter of James and Revelation. I like the big picture I'm getting as I read through the Bible this quickly and I think once I've done it at this pace it will be easier to read larger chunks at a time after this 'bible bootcamp'.

Well, this is longer than it was suppose to be, but maybe some of you will enjoy it. I know it's a lot of ramblings, but I'm just putting my thoughts down as they come to me.


English Vintner